I've been playing exactly 9 months today and I've had similar experiences as the OP except I've found the weed smokers to be about 40-45%. For a while I wondered if I was the only one except for some close friends who didn't smoke.
I have not had that many rules nazis but the ones I've encountered are cruising for a bruising so to speak. I'm talking casual rounds here too. If I want to flip my disc instead of using a marker in a casual round I will. I don't care if that's how you play in a tournament. It's a casual round.
I've also found a lot of really good players to not be really good teachers. I've found few guys who have given me good pointers. I can't imagine how bad my game would be right now (not that it's great) if it wasn't for sites like this one and DGR. People online have been extremely helpful.