#91  
Old 10-12-2021, 10:27 PM
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hawgdriver hawgdriver is offline
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Originally Posted by Rastnav View Post
Ultimately a destructive attitude and a destructive message. Maybe it works for you, but as you do not seem to actually experience what is in the OP, maybe take a step back.

This is much like telling someone with a partial tear of their Achilles’ tendon to “stop being a bitch”. Come to think of it, the other day I was talking with my PT buddy who was telling stories about the times he had stop coaches from paralyzing their players by putting them back in the game with cervical fractures because they “just had stingers”. Ultimately this why medical staff have to be independent of players and coaches, because athletic performance is partially an exercise in ignoring what your body is telling you.

Yes, we need to be able to distinguish between injury and pain. But don’t make the mistake of thinking there is no such thing as mental condition or injury. What the OP describes is something that needs treatment, rather than being ignored, or dismissed in ignorance.
Great point. I was only speaking of my own internal dialogue, and sometimes tough love is what I need to hear. Sometimes it's absolutely the wrong message, and since I don't know the nuance of OP's mindset, it's a dangerous thing to say as 'advice'.

Reminds me of when I shattered my tibia playing soccer a few years ago, a scrimmage between our neighborhood over 40 league team and a random group of mostly non-english speaking hispanic players. The orthopedic surgeon told me it was bad, like what happened to Lindsay Vonn (the skier). At the time it happened, I just knew it was something bad. Didn't know how bad.

I was helped off the field and one of the hispanic dudes came over to help, told me I had to start walking on it right away. I tried.

Lol.
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  #92  
Old 10-12-2021, 11:02 PM
Rastnav Rastnav is offline
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Great point. I was only speaking of my own internal dialogue, and sometimes tough love is what I need to hear. Sometimes it's absolutely the wrong message, and since I don't know the nuance of OP's mindset, it's a dangerous thing to say as 'advice'.

Reminds me of when I shattered my tibia playing soccer a few years ago, a scrimmage between our neighborhood over 40 league team and a random group of mostly non-english speaking hispanic players. The orthopedic surgeon told me it was bad, like what happened to Lindsay Vonn (the skier). At the time it happened, I just knew it was something bad. Didn't know how bad.

I was helped off the field and one of the hispanic dudes came over to help, told me I had to start walking on it right away. I tried.

Lol.
Ok, now my leg hurts. lol

Shatter and tibia are two words one does not like to hear next to each other.
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  #93  
Old 10-13-2021, 09:07 PM
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Ok, now my leg hurts. lol

Shatter and tibia are two words one does not like to hear next to each other.
He (when I tell the story I call him the Mexican witch doctor because he had a sort of shamanistic vibe to him) was really trying to help. When I looked at the x-ray and thought about it, I had to chuckle. My wife was out of town and I ended up driving myself to the hospital--I was happy I drove the Outback that day, and not the S60R with the stick.

I thought about your statement a bit today, and wanted to unwind my retraction in a certain way. I think there's value, administered appropriately, in mental tough love or setting high expectations. There is, I believe, a certain magic in saying 'no, this is the standard, and you must meet it'. I know I sound all boomerish, but it feels like there should be more of that kind of interpersonal expectation setting. I feel like it's a blessing in disguise when you have people that do that for you, sometimes.

There is also no room for buffoonish bluster, like General George Patton's moment of excoriating shell-shocked soldiers in WWII. It's actively harmful to belittle serious conditions.

Anyways, I was seriously down after day one this weekend. I had those thoughts--'forever done with disc golf' and 'why can I not command myself'. Despair. And I'm passionate about the game, so I felt it well out of proportion to the essential act of flinging circles at arbitrary targets with other humans.

I suppose I'm sharing because I hope it helps anyone reading.
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  #94  
Old 10-13-2021, 09:45 PM
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Ha, have you ever seen the book "Sh*t my dad says" ? It's great, his dad is like a super leading doctor brain surgeon I think, anyhow he wrote a blog of stuff that came out of his dad's mouth, then parlayed it into a book and a short lived sitcom with William Shatner in it.. I seem to remember something like

"Why are you crying? Sure you dropped the ball but for God's sake it's a. Baseball game"

Other favourites like picking a college...
"Its your future it's not about which place is best to get laid"

All kinds of other "blunt advice" .
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Old 10-14-2021, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by ThrowaEnvy View Post
Ha, have you ever seen the book "Sh*t my dad says" ? It's great, his dad is like a super leading doctor brain surgeon I think, anyhow he wrote a blog of stuff that came out of his dad's mouth, then parlayed it into a book and a short lived sitcom with William Shatner in it.. I seem to remember something like

"Why are you crying? Sure you dropped the ball but for God's sake it's a. Baseball game"

Other favourites like picking a college...
"Its your future it's not about which place is best to get laid"

All kinds of other "blunt advice" .
I believe it was an early Twitter hit.

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  #96  
Old 10-14-2021, 01:44 PM
Rastnav Rastnav is offline
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I reject that kind of punk mentality
just wanted to say don't be a b*tch
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I thought about your statement a bit today, and wanted to unwind my retraction in a certain way. I think there's value, administered appropriately, in mental tough love or setting high expectations. There is, I believe, a certain magic in saying 'no, this is the standard, and you must meet it'. I know I sound all boomerish, but it feels like there should be more of that kind of interpersonal expectation setting. I feel like it's a blessing in disguise when you have people that do that for you, sometimes.
Certainly, as I said before, certain things may work for you. If it works for you, then keep doing if for yourself.

But, I think it’s important to note the difference in language that’s being used here, and the subtle differences between them. In the first case, you are essentially doubling down on the negative thought. You feel like garbage after the first round and your self messaging is “Yeah, you are garbage if you don’t complete the tournament”. The self messaging is accepting the idea that not accomplishing certain things makes you a garbage human being.

Whereas the second could be simply a reminder of your own personal standards. There are some implications in the way it’s phrased, but, depending on how one approaches it, it isn’t intrinsically a judgement on self worth. If finishing is important to you, then do your best to accomplish it.

There was a period of a few years where I was doing triathlons. Just sprints, nothing extreme. I am not a natural triathlete, to put it mildly. There are reasons I didn’t turn in good times. Nonetheless, I eventually signed up for my first open water swim at an event called the Kure Beach Double Sprint. You did an open swim out past the breakers, along the beach for 350M or so, and then back in. Then you left the beach, ran 2.5K to your bike, did a 10 K loop on the bike and then did the loop again, then ran back to the beach, and the finished by doing the same swim again. NBD to the serious triathletes, but a BFD to me.

Just getting out past the breakers was one of the tougher things I’ve done. Trying to swim in a pack of open water swimmers for the first time can’t be explained, it can only be experienced. I thought I had lined up at the back of the pack, but got so tunnel focused that I didn’t realize that 1/2 the field was in behind me. When I got to the buoy marker after swimming out past the breakers I made a noise of … some combination of relief and exhaustion. The safety kayak started paddling toward me. I eventually made it all the way through the swim, no one in my wave in sight, but I was totally gassed at that point.

About 1/2 mile into the run I stepped into one of those little depressions in asphalt that happen when the roadbed underneath isn’t properly packed. My ankle started rolling, I started falling, and I went full cirque-de-soleil and combat rolled through it to come back on my feet. Someone in the next wave had caught up to me and was passing me and I’m not sure I’ve ever heard someone sound quite so surprised.

If I had anything left in the tank before that, I didn’t after. It was just an exercise in stumbling at that point. But eventuallyI made it through the run, through the bike ride, through the run back to the beach. And I got back in the water and somehow made it through that too. Finally basically stumbling through the finish line on the beach where my friends were waiting. There wasn’t anyone else on the course that I could see. Even the 73 year old woman finished with a better time than I did (although, to be fair, Sharon Roggenbuck is something of a triathalon legend).

I’m not sure I’ve ever been as deflated as I was when I finished. There was no sense of accomplishment. No relief at finishing. Nothing but a yawning emptiness of pain and misery. I had nothing left in my tank, including the capacity for happiness. You can tell me it “should” have made me feel positive, or you can tell me it “should” have motivated me to train harder next time, and I’ll simply tell you that it didn’t.

Was finishing worth it? Well, finishing is important to me, so yeah, probably it was. DFL is better than DNF is better than DNS.

But I haven’t felt the urge to sign up for any tris since, and I believe that’s all for the better.

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Last edited by Rastnav; 10-14-2021 at 01:47 PM.
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  #97  
Old 10-15-2021, 05:41 AM
autocrosscrx autocrosscrx is online now
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I'm an over thinker and I tend to struggle with confidence. And I put a lot of pressure on myself. A lot of that pressure is that I have this fear that if I don't perform well, I won't be as well liked and people will phase me out of their life.

The tough love type advice is pretty much the worst advice you can give me. I really need someone to remind me of my plan and that I can and have executed it. Or just tell me that we can still grab beers afterwards no matter how things play out.

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  #98  
Old 10-15-2021, 08:08 PM
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2naphish 2naphish is offline
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suck it up, man up and move on....
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