#11  
Old 02-01-2017, 10:18 PM
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cooter cooter is offline
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I'm not sure what your really after with responses here. Are you just stirring the pot? This is just life in general. Male or female. I know when I get in the car everyday I'm going to run into a few fools. Doesn't mean I flick everyone off that I pass. My path crosses mean women and rude men everyday. Grocery store, gas station, resteraunt, everywhere. It happens. Don't get consumed by it. My experience with disc golfers as a whole has been fantastic although it's not immune to the occasional idiot. But what is?
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  #12  
Old 02-01-2017, 11:06 PM
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It's simple math: membership in the PDGA is 92.6% male and 7.4% female. Membership in the human race is 50.4% male and 49.6% female. If skeevy dudes are distributed evenly through the population, then a woman is more likely to randomly bump into one in the context of disc golf than elsewhere.

So, mathematically speaking, it turns out that one way to reduce the frequency of "that guy" incidents is to bring the ratio of men and women closer to that of the general population.

Obvious downside: The frequency of "that gal" incidents will increase. =D

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  #13  
Old 02-01-2017, 11:07 PM
air show air show is offline
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The worst thing you can do is throw your discs in the garbage. All of us in one way or another came across this great game we call disc golf. It is great exercise and in my case very challenging. Some suggestions. Find an open field or park where you can find solitude and start winging discs. Playing alone can really exercise the mental part of the game. Alone is where i have made the greatest strides in my game. Then when you walk on to the course you will be more confident and have a different mind set. Also invest in some type of target or basket so you can stay entertained when your at home. It's all exercise. Moreover, find a pal to throw with. That means recruiting which is even more challenging than the game itself.

As far as all else goes "stupid is as stupid does."
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  #14  
Old 02-01-2017, 11:34 PM
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Tim_the_Enchanter Tim_the_Enchanter is offline
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Sad to say, I don't think your experience is unique. Let's face it, a lot of courses have guys whose entire life revolves around dg and that's where they spend the majority of their free time. When they see a woman golfing, especially by herself, it's like a unicorn to those guys and they go out of their way to try to impress her, or just do something skeezy. If a woman gets that kind of attention more than a few times, then chances are good that she'll decide that the hobby is not for her.

I definitely think if you can have a friend or two to golf with, that'll help immensely. Some friends of mine, who are a couple, went through a period where the guy was living in another state for a while. The girl still wanted to golf, of course, but had to put up with the usual ogling and overly friendly guys without her bf there. We ended up golfing a good amount together, and the unwanted attention dropped off a lot--there was nothing more than friendship between us but I got to be the honorary c**k blocker.

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Old 02-01-2017, 11:43 PM
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roadtripstuff roadtripstuff is offline
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You should check out your local ladies league. I know there are tons of other ladies playing in your area and the difference between playing with women and men is astounding. Most of the folks in this sport are pretty good people, but of course there are going to be a few bad seeds, you just have to ignore those folks and do you. While I can't speak to the guy in line saying that crap, the other guy really prob thought he was being nice and encouraging, unfortunately many don't see that we would prefer to be spoken to the same way they would speak to a male player in regards that calling us sweetie or honey can be offensive.

Like others have said, you can't control how people act towards you, but you can choose how you react to them.

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  #16  
Old 02-02-2017, 12:04 AM
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Mulligan Mulligan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim_the_Enchanter View Post
Sad to say, I don't think your experience is unique. Let's face it, a lot of courses have guys whose entire life revolves around dg and that's where they spend the majority of their free time. When they see a woman golfing, especially by herself, it's like a unicorn to those guys and they go out of their way to try to impress her, or just do something skeezy. If a woman gets that kind of attention more than a few times, then chances are good that she'll decide that the hobby is not for her.

I definitely think if you can have a friend or two to golf with, that'll help immensely. Some friends of mine, who are a couple, went through a period where the guy was living in another state for a while. The girl still wanted to golf, of course, but had to put up with the usual ogling and overly friendly guys without her bf there. We ended up golfing a good amount together, and the unwanted attention dropped off a lot--there was nothing more than friendship between us but I got to be the honorary c**k blocker.
Very on point observation that I will ditto in the first paragraph and solid advice in the second. Frolf on!
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  #17  
Old 02-02-2017, 12:50 AM
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BrotherDave BrotherDave is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hampstead View Post
One guy even yelled out his car window and called me a biscuit head while I was waiting at a bus stop.
That's one of the weirdest insults I've ever heard of. I can't even, I mean, were you wearing a pad of butter for a hat? I'm so perplexed.
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Originally Posted by roadtripstuff View Post
You should check out your local ladies league. I know there are tons of other ladies playing in your area and the difference between playing with women and men is astounding. Most of the folks in this sport are pretty good people, but of course there are going to be a few bad seeds, you just have to ignore those folks and do you. While I can't speak to the guy in line saying that crap, the other guy really prob thought he was being nice and encouraging, unfortunately many don't see that we would prefer to be spoken to the same way they would speak to a male player in regards that calling us sweetie or honey can be offensive.

Like others have said, you can't control how people act towards you, but you can choose how you react to them.
That's good advice right there. Charlotte has to have a decent ladies scene, as big of a DG scene it is but I don't know for a fact.

If you were up in my neck of the woods you'd play a lot more solo rounds (as in you're the only soul out there) but the tourney bros would likely be as bad. As a guy I can't really relate or help you any but if you let the occasional socially backward rube keep you from playing disc golf then the terrorists will have won or something like that. The guy that called you 'sweetheart' may have just been brutally Southern, we call each other 'sweetheart' and 'honey' a lot around here. Just eat at a Waffle House often and you'll get used to it.

I'm out of bad advice, feel free to shoot me a PM if you're ever in need of a cock blocker in the Triad area. There's a lot of things that I am but an ogler and patronizer I ain't.
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  #18  
Old 02-02-2017, 02:03 AM
mullethead326 mullethead326 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anon View Post
You ran into 2 A-holes in a sea of people that didn't care you were a girl throwing discs in the park that day (or playing in that tournament)

Why are you letting 2 absolute idiots define your experience?
Anon, I'm sorry that you're the one who gets singled out here, because there are other posters or readers who probably need this too. Trying to discount the original poster's experience, while perhaps intended in positive context, asks them to ignore an obvious but correctable problem with how they are treated.

http://skydmagazine.com/2016/09/gend...ung-gentleman/
http://skydmagazine.com/2015/02/unst...e-help-people/

I think it's extremely important that male disc golfers acknowledge their privilege. We are currently in the majority of players. It's rare that we get catcalled or patronized because of our gender. This behavior (usually on the part of men) towards women isn't limited to disc golf, it's a systematic societal problem. Women have been fighting for equal treatment, rights, pay, and everything else for nearly forever. A huge part of our privilege is that, unless prompted, we never have to consider that others have to fight much harder to achieve the same treatment and respect. What is normal for male disc golfers is far from normal for female disc golfers. If a female asks for equal treatment, she is viewed in a negative light as "entitled" or "feminist".

On the disc golf course, the male privilege may be at its worst. We can be loud and brash because the scene is a de facto boys club. We can openly judge women because our clique of male players will join in. We feel capable of offering advice only because we may throw further than others. Loud and clear, I'm going to say that this behavior is unacceptable.

The next time you (as a male on or off the course) see or hear a female being disrespected, patronized, or otherwise not receiving a fair treatment, I urge you to take a breath and compose your thoughts, and then urge the other party to reconsider their behavior--would they like to be spoken to that way? Would they address everyone they know that way? Are they helping to grow a community of empowered and welcoming disc golfers?

It's not our job to protect female disc golfers... but as males we can use our privilege (and make other males aware of their own) to alter the paradigm and help encourage women to grow and play.

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  #19  
Old 02-02-2017, 02:33 AM
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Emoney Emoney is offline
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I don't think there is a easy solution for this. It's hard for women to "win" in the real world let alone the disc golf world.
My best advice is to stay open to the fact that there are some good natured/mannered males in disc golf. It won't be the majority but there are a few.
Also, it actually helps to be a little more outgoing. Make some good friends and play with them. The group setting will help lessen the negetive attention you get exposed to. Keeping to yourself may get you even more unwanted attention unfortunately.

I really don't know if your issues will ever completely go away. That being said, make a choice that you can live with. Quit DG or find a way to enjoy it while not letting the stress of man ruin it.
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  #20  
Old 02-02-2017, 03:06 AM
JoakimBL JoakimBL is offline
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While the second guy was clearly out of line, as others have pointed out, it has little to do with disc golf and more to do with "some guys are dicks" in general. The first guy, was likely trying to be encouraging and friendly. I understand how that in general sometimes is perceived as patronizing, but to me has nothing to do with gender og sexism. I know a lot of feminist strongly disagree, but the world isn't going to be a better place, if we stop be friendly to each other. And I'm guessing that some women would find it encouraging. In any case, you are better off ignoring the first guy, than letting his remark get you wound up.

How to handle the second guy is a matter of choice. If you can't ignore it and let it go, stand up to him instead. I would suggest asking him to repeat what he said. He will likely be embarrassed, and have hopefully learned his lesson, if not you can deal however you feel appropriate, or how to best get it out of your system as not to affect your play.
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