Strategies for dealing abrasive/grumpy/negative cardmate?

[gammaxgoblin]

Had an experience recently playing with a guy who just was abrasive/grumpy/negative and had no self awareness. I've had cardmates get angry and frustrated and they always pull themselves out of it and/or apologize and acknowledge it. This guy was just miserable to be around and the weather was wet and it was hard to find peace and tune him out. What have you all done to manage these types of situations when you notice it's affecting you and your play?

 

[DrBaartman]

Literally laugh out loud and just forcibly improve your own mood. Plus it will subconsciously tell him that his negativity isn't doing anything for anyone.
I am myself a formerly negative cardmate with no self awareness.. I have worked on it.

 

[BogeyNoMore]

When stuck with a jerk in a tournament, I try to keep my distance and avoid confronting them, (unless they break a rule). My thought process being:

1) Don't do anything to get myself any more agitated than Mr. Sunshine is already making me. Sometimes I try to find some funny, quirky thing they do, to amuse my self, a'la "If you can't fix it, feature it."

2) The other reason I try to avoid confronting them is out of respect for our card mates. Having a jerk on the card is bad enough. Having a jerk, plus the schmuck who argues with the jerk, can really take the experience to another level. So I never want to be the jerk or the schmuck.

It all comes down to making the best of a bad situation. While each of us has our own ways of doing that, I see no reason to pour gas on that fire.

 

[Discette]

Headphones/ear buds

 

[PastorofMuppets]

While avoiding them and not fanning the flames is probably the better option, I choose to try and make the powder keg explode for my own amusement. I love saying "nice shot" when they hit first available, "great run" when they miss a clearly makeable putt, and pointing out their bad play vocally, and just generally being as sarcastic as possible. It keeps me on my game while watching them spiral out of control. I will caveat that I try and make sure my other card mates aren't being affected by my poking of the bear. If they are, I relent. There are few things more satisfying than watching a crybaby self destruct and rage quit on the disc golf course.

 

[kyflash]

Let them waller in their own mud.

 

[BillFleming]

Depends on how far you want to take the issue. Is it a Sanctioned round? If so...

812 Courtesy:
A.3. Engage in distracting or unsportsmanlike actions such as.

I didn't list the 'such as' since those are just some examples. The main point is the cardmate is 'engaging in distracting or unsportsmanlike actions.

So, if you wanted to push the issue, you could give the player a courtesy warning (or just a friendly 'warning' first), and then call penalties after the courtesy warning. Maybe it will cause the player to improve their actions; if not, escalating to the TD is an option.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying you have to do this.....but it is an available option. I've come close to it due to a player harassing me. After talking to them about the issue, they finally calmed down. They still weren't happy that I called a courtesy violation on them for a rules violation, but they stopped their rude, harassing actions.

 

[BogeyNoMore]

While avoiding them and not fanning the flames is probably the better option, I choose to try and make the powder keg explode for my own amusement. I love saying "nice shot" when they hit first available, "great run" when they miss a clearly makeable putt, and pointing out their bad play vocally, and just generally being as sarcastic as possible. It keeps me on my game while watching them spiral out of control. I will caveat that I try and make sure my other card mates aren't being affected by my poking of the bear. If they are, I relent. There are few things more satisfying than watching a crybaby self destruct and rage quit on the disc golf course.

I can endorse this, specifically because of the underlined.

 

[Shallows]

I, for one, would love to share a card with Hailey King.

 

[Moose33]

If they are just loud and being negative etc, headphones in and they likely won’t get a response if they speak to me,

If they are mean/abusive to cardmates, I’m calling EVERYTHING.

 

[Steve West]

If they are just loud and being negative etc, headphones in and they likely won’t get a response if they speak to me,

If they are mean/abusive to cardmates, I’m calling EVERYTHING.

What's "EVERYTHING"? Do you normally see tons of violations, but let them slide? Which rules are the ones that would give you the most chances to make these calls?

Genuinely curious.

 

[Moose33]

What's "EVERYTHING"? Do you normally see tons of violations, but let them slide? Which rules are the ones that would give you the most chances to make these calls?

Genuinely curious.

If someone is losing it and being abusive almost everything they say could be a courtesy violation.