Neutral is good, or balanced. What you are describing with wrestling is steering the head from an external force/person. This can happen in a swing when you tilt off balance from your center of gravity, but turning the head doesn't affect balance, so when people talk about "leading with head" what are they really talking about... tilting or turning? Is either really bad? When you go to walk/run you start the motion by tilting with the upper body, but your lower body has to accelerate ahead to catch yourself in dynamic balance to your intended next move.
I think when people are talking about tilting and the head leading targetward, this is most often a reaction from leaning/tilting back away off balance before that with the poor concept that they really need to "shift their weight back".
When people are talking about head turning being a problem, it usually stems from over-rotating to the hit position/rounding/collapsing the shoulder.
I generally see this come in as a literal leading with the head.
The swing starts and their head drives the shot, not their body.
The descriptor for wrestling is just one part, but in all animals and people, where the head goes the body follows. The problem with leading with the head, if you're literally leading with the head, is that the body will follow in an unconventional way, not in a controlled fashion. Which is why I used the wrestling analogy. If I grab your head gear and slam your head into the matt, your body is going to follow it in a not very controlled manor even though you're fighting against it.
So if you lead your swing que's with the head by driving with the head, your body will not follow the head very well.
As demonstrated by players like Climo and Paul, you can turn your head into the shot, but they are very neutral with their head and neck muscles. They are not throwing their head into the shot. The more Neutral we keep our head, the more the body can flow around the head vs following the head and us compensating.
I don't generally look or comment on head "tilting." But generally when looking at form reviews look at head driving, which just in turn causes muscling.
And its something I struggled with personally. And I sometimes still do it, and I can tell I still do it because my shot power goes to crap, my control goes to crap and my neck starts to hurt.
So I step back and just remember to keep the head neutral and relaxed, and the power and accuracy comes back as the body flows, vs the body following.
Does that make it make more sense?
I try and leave some of the balance stuff out of it because that might be a case by case when doing a review or helping with someone's form. Is their upper body compensating for poor lower body, or visa versa.
And sometimes that head tilt is poor timing trying to be encouraged by changing that balance, vs changing our base.
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Re-reading your comments, I think we are talking about 2 completely different things.
But not necessarily in disagreement either.