Seeking a disc golf adventure partner..

[Martin Dewgarita]

I posted this recently on facebook, still looking for advice/response... chime in if you feel it is appropriate..

Hello friends. I post here because I'm not quite comfortable with posing this question on my own page, with all of my friends and relatives, so I come to you like minded friends, asking for some input and advice. ie, I'm not necessarily looking for this person here in this group, but looking for advice on how to find this person..

TLR; Lonely artist looking for companionship and business partnership in making and touring.

I am writing these things, looking for conversation and advice.

I am a rambler, I tend to type with no coherency, so I apologize ahead of time, this is going to be long and likely not make a whole lot of sense..

For over a year now I have been making my living as an artist, specifically a disc golf mini artist - if you haven't seen my work, browse treasures-of-the-forest.com and instagram @treasures_of_the_forest, and facebook treasuresoftheforest

Last year (2020) - I easily sold more than 1000 pieces and made more $$ than I ever did in the previous 17 years of working for the YMCA. Today I feel somewhat overwhelmed and could use help, this is growing to more than I can handle. Last year I was in a relationship hopeful that she would be able to help me with my business.

Today, She is out of the picture, we went our separate directions, and I am still hopeful that I might find someone to help me with any and all aspects.

In my dream world, this person is a female and a life partner, though I realize it doesn't have to be. A business partner could be a guy that I click with, or a female that is completely platonic and involved in a business relationship only, though I imagine a romantic relationship might be better as we'll be sleeping in close quarters and ultimately close together for long periods of time.

What do I need help with? It is up for discussion, currently I am handling every aspect on my own and am somewhat overwhelmed, certain things I am better at, but I would appreciate any help to delegate. So, here is where I'm at:

My jewelry line, I have made pendants and earrings and such, but haven't had time to focus on it - this alone with the product I create could be a business in and of itself.

Maintaining my artist consignment aspect of the business - I am and plan to continue working with other artists and promoting and selling their work, trading/paying wholesale, or possibly consignment to sell their works as I'm on the road.

Road tripping: this is mostly companionship, I do two types of trips. Material gathering trips - travel to and connect with private course owners and league/tournament directors, and then gather materials from courses. During both, I live in a mini van, camp out as cheaply as possible, with minimal showers and maybe an occasional hotel room.

Also, Road tripping for vending at events, travel to and set up and sell, as well as one of us or both of us being able to play the event.
Marketing and online presence - facebook, twitter, Instagram, etc. I'm not very good at it and would definitely appreciate help

Website - again, I'm not great at keeping it updated and need help with maintaining inventory and shipping and photos and descriptions..
Bookkeeping, taxes and such... this is probably my worst, I have never been very good with money and accounting and what not, it could be cool to have help with this aspect..

Creation and artwork - this is me, this is my business, but I could quite easily take on an apprentice and teach you what needs to be done. Collecting material, drying material, cutting and prepping material, pouring resin into molds, cutting, turning, finishing, etc.

So, ultimately I'm looking for a relationship, a life partner, and a business partner, but I have no idea how to find her (it/him/or whatever).

I've asked friends - advice: it should happen naturally, when you're not even looking for it.
Really? at 36 years old, how does that happen? at the bar that I don't go to? or she's going to randomly show up at my house? or at an disc golf event where there's 3 ladies and they are all there with their boyfriends?

Dating websites? I have seriously been trying, I've had some good dates and encounters even, but overall, it is a horrible experience, I kind of enjoy it, but I really don't want to keep at it, I want to find someone and just go for it you know...
Here I am, open and vulnerable, looking for advice. Shoot me down or give me something I don't care, it was quite difficult to open up and do this from a personal level, so be kind, but also be real.

Thoughts/Ideas/Critiques? Anybody want to make a go of it? Or know somebody that might? Let me know, or let me know what you think about proceeding from this point - should I post this/something similar on my personal page? Or a different page? I don't know... coming this far is way out of my comfort zone so... be gentle.

 

[jakebake91]

I have nothing to offer at all except words of encouragement. Things have a way of working themselves out. Sounds like you are living an amazing life. To be honest, I'm quite jealous. Best of luck on your journey! I'm here for moral support, if that is any use at all. You know, total stranger and all haha.

The fact that you put this out here, amongst all the trolls, took some guts. Kudos man!

 

[DanJon]

Go to some hippy music festivals.

Set up shop with a basket and some discs.

Maybe hand out Grilled Cheese too.

There's bound to be some thirty-something, single, childless artist that will be down.

I am being serious here.

 

[ru4por]

I don't think finding a soulmate is easy. It is the hardest quest of most of our lives. I also don't think you can make it happen. The really bad news is making it work each day, for decades, is infinitely more difficult.

Learn to love yourself, the rest will happen, if it is meant to be.

Shrug....what do I know?

 

[ThrowaEnvy]

Yup earthy, hippie chicks, farmgirls.. Preferably on the cleaner side. I met my woman at a local party and it worked out. Some of the small communities are handy that way, even if the selection is small. I got lucky.

DG dating groups? Local clubs? I like the pop up a stand and make grilled cheese idea, the DG crowd is usually pretty cool and not a bad dating pool albeit small. There are some ladies groups, maybe offer some minis and sammiches as a way to support their club one day... because you are into growing the sport and support them.

Put on a dress and play with a women's group because you "don't like the pressure" of regular league. Play wrong handed if you are good. I was tempted to play Halloween with the ladies and I would have worn a skirt because they have fun like we used to and aren't competitive at all. It used to be a blowout party with a trophy for endurance as much as disc golf prowess.. First time I played the Halloween tournament my whole group dropped acid except me and we finished 1.5 hrs later than the other two groups.. But I digress.

Wish I had better advice

 

[ThrowaEnvy]

Edited out, just wanted to clarify that I asked about playing with em. They said "women only or you dress like one" or "wear a skirt" something like that.

When I played Halloween that year I had a reggae Dreadlock toque thing, I felt lame not putting in any effort, but then I was the only one dressed up. It's not like the good old days

 

[tomsdiscs]

Soulmate is aiming high, aiming that high can lead to missing a nice reliable person, who goes with the flow and laughs at some of your jokes, which ain't a bad deal.

A stable companion is a good deal over time, even if not the perfect "soulmate".

Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, divorced his wife last year, she got $ 60,000,000,000 (that's billions), she is cute, and I hear she likes grilled cheese.

 

[MiDiscsAreCold]

Nothing about this post sounds healthy.

It sounds like you want an employee you don't have to pay.

It sounds like you want a girlfriend to fulfill the roll of pet.

You really need to separate these things and likely deal with some individual problems. Counseling can be extraordinarily helpful for some people dealing with their internal confusion.

 

[itsRudy]

Website - again, I'm not great at keeping it updated and need help with maintaining inventory and shipping and photos and descriptions..
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Thoughts/Ideas/Critiques? Anybody want to make a go of it? Or know somebody that might? Let me know, or let me know what you think about proceeding from this point - should I post this/something similar on my personal page? Or a different page? I don't know... coming this far is way out of my comfort zone so... be gentle.

Sounds like you need a smartphone more than a soulmate, if you already don't have one. I'd separate out the roles here, you got a lot going on and 99.999% people can't fulfill them all. Plus, you don't want your business in a mess if your gf leaves you. Life happens.

As for the website, I'd say there's enough easy sites that do the inventory for you, maybe shopify? Get something where 99% of chores can be done on the phone. Idk, there's options. People also buy/sell/trade on Facebook. Just keep a stack of webstore and facebook inventory at home and the stuff for on the road seperate - that's a onetime effort building invetory up and then just replacing it. No biggie. There's nothing more annoying to the customer than buying something online and finding out it's been sold out after the fact - a good way to lose a customer, get a ding and a bad rep.

Accounting is rather easy and more discipline than smarts. Keep track of miles of your with another app, that's a considerable deduction of around 50 cents a mile. Go 10,000 miles business a year, that's $5,000 less on which you have to pay taxes on so like a savings of $1,250 or so. Write up meals and other expenses outside your 50 mile home radius as well as materials and advertising and booth costs. And just count what you have beginning of day and subtract that from end of day. That's sales and basic accounting for taxes in a nutshell. Buy a dollar store binder for your car for any receipts you don't want to mess with and throw them all in there (I actually photograph mine and put it in an album to bypass paper entirely). Online sales can be kept by the computer and done quarterly (every 3 months).

Good luck dude.

 

[autocrosscrx]

Can you afford an employee or to outsource some of this work?

 

[ThrowaEnvy]

^ yes to business advice.

Paper is my enemy!

I have run my own business for 15 years recently I got a book keeper who's excellent on Quickbooks. I tried setting all that up on my own and screwed it royally. Took her a year and a half to straighten it out... I have struggled with that end for years. Still do. I like working but hate doing my homework. I can do a lot from my phone on the job now. Like yesterday I had an hour before I needed to get the kid, so I pulled some permits and did parts counts for a couple jobs..

Obviously there are costs to these different programs, find out about them before you buy in. I hoped my woman would help me run my company but it caused a lot of friction... don't count on anyone helping, trust an app first!

That way you either need say Quickbooks and a lady that discs and loves camping in a mini van, or a dude that does (easy to find) and a lady at home... So 2 people and an app instead of one unicorn.

 

[Martin Dewgarita]

Thanks for the responses so far. It definitely helps me think through what I'm going through.

A couple of things. I won't deny that perhaps I would benefit from some professional counseling - last time I tried it, the counselor was not very helpful - basically she said "you seem to be doing just fine, I don't see anything wrong with you" obviously not with those words, but that's what I got from it..

The things I said I need help with are things I have been doing - yes I have a smart phone, yes I have been doing my own bookkeeping, for the most part I understand what goes in to it all, I'm just not very good at it. I just want to make **** and travel.. I also understand that we can't always get what we want, but there's nothing wrong with dreaming big. Do unicorns exist? I would like to believe so, though I understand that they are nearly impossible to find, thus this thread on how to find her..

I am quite content continuing on my own, but I will continue to dream..

 

[autocrosscrx]

Art and travel and disc golf sounds like a really nice dream.

I'm just not sure there are many women out there dreaming of dropping everything to live in a minivan and work an unpaid book keeping job.

 

[Martin Dewgarita]

I also never said that this was an unpaid position..

But yes, there are not many women out there looking for what I have to offer. But maybe there is one? maybe not. But I won't know unless I try..

 

[txmxer]

My .02, you don't look for a life partner to be a business partner as well. If it happens, great, but combining those two up front is destined for bad ending.

 

[McCready]

Wanted: Good woman. Must be able to cook, clean, sew, dig worms and clean fish. Must have boat & motor. Please send photo of boat & motor.

 

[Tomphoolery]

There are chicks out there who are down with the road warrior lifestyle and will help you sell your wares. I think it's a bad mindset to be seeking that though. Just do you and the right women will be drawn to your vibe. I would also advise against actively seeking out a business partner in a romantic partner. I've had girls I've dated help me sell beers on Phish lot and stuff like that, and it's really fun when they're into it and want to do it. I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment though making that one of your standards. But yeah, if she's gonna come on the road with you she should probably be down for the mission.

Good luck, OP. I had to retire from the road to find a good lady. Plenty of fun ones along the way, but none that ever made it all the way back home with me.

P.S. your minis are awesome! I might have to snag one when I'm a little better off...

 

[Casey 1988]

My thought is go to a DGPT event even if it is the Silver series one on the Wisconsin resort or the Nearby DGPT in Minnesota. Then try to find a single female pro who is unsponsored and get her as a partner in on the mini deal. This might not be quite what you are looking for but could actually find stuff at the NT/DGPT/DGPT silver series for the found material on these courses. Then just stock up on the Mixes you use/in towns look for the stuff you need to make them. Try to get on the vendor list for these series if you can, I bet the minis would sell well at these types of events. Then in winter stock up on the material you use for making the resins/colors.

She could use a mini of yours then some Pros who are better off might be willing to buy the minis plus then if she is ever on Video at events comments get asked: What is that odd mini? Then the pepple

Then for marketing do something to the van to have your companies main logo on it, if you do not have one due to making custom minis I understand but you need one for both the van and your online site that is the same thing.

 

[ru4por]

Tis an age old problem of all men.....not sure any of us have really figured it out

I can't get a girl
Cause I ain't got a car
I can't get a car
Cause I ain't got a job
I can't get a job
Cause I ain't got a car
So I'm looking for a girl with a job and a car

-----Alice Cooper

 

[Chains Bailey]

Checked out the site - Extraordinary work!