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Losing tolerance for bad courtesy

Hyzflip10

Birdie Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2018
Messages
332
OK, I'm trying to figure out if I'm off base here or not. I play in a fun league Saturday morning's during the winter. Its a good mix of Ams and us veteran players. Usually we split pools - one for Pros one for Am to keep it fair and fun for everyone. I end up cashing more times than not, and I am a bit of a stickler for courtesy. Sure lets have fun, but when people are throwing let them throw.

Saturday morning there were 8 of us so we just played random draw dubs. My foursome we had two of us "pro" / serious players paired with am / less serious players. The am on the other team is a bit of a goof ball who tends to drink too much whiskey while he plays. Hole 15 it was a close match, and my 45 foot putt to pull within one stroke cut through chains and fell out other side. It happens, I was a bit agitated but I kept it to myself. When it gets to be my turn on next tee, the goofball guy and my partner start talking quietly as Im trying to get into my zone. Not wanting to cause a scene, I stepped off the tee, went to my bag and wiped off my disc. Instead of taking the hint, they started taking very loudly and more animated. Still not wanting to cause a scene, I just stood there and waited for them to stop talking.

The guy looks at me and says "Oh, does your turn start when you are standing at your bag or what?" I responded that I was just waiting for them to stop talking so I could throw. So instead of apologizing or stopping like I would have expected he starts arguing with me, claiming they weren't talking while I was on the tee. Finally he shuts up and I angry-park my tee shot. As we walk up the fairway he gets back in my face and tells me I need to learn to block that stuff out. Now I was pissed and I got back in his face and told him he needs to learn some basic courtesy. I told the group that I have starting to wear earphones when I play just to block out this sort of nonsense. So he takes that as an invitation to tell me when and how I should wear my ear phones. So after going back and forth a bit, we finally shook hands and made up.

I ended up winning the second solo round, and I had fun in the group because we are all over 50 and and can bust each others chops while still having basic courtesy and respect of the game. I have seen some real bad courtesy this past year, and it has lessened my enjoyment of the game tremendously. Who wants to deal with that when playing? Certainly not me and I'm sure the other people in our group didn't either.

Honestly wearing my earphones helps me stay in my zone, and I can play the music low enough that I can still be part of group conversations when I need or want to be.
 
I can see where you're coming from.
I was that guy that would stand on the tee and give my fellow card mates the gentle, "I'm not throwing until you shut up" stare. Been working though that and I'm much more tolerant of noise.
Like you, if I can't tune it out, I'll put in earbuds and tune that in.
 
That's why I no longer play leagues. Tired of the obnoxious stoners and drunks, and that seems to be the majority of who shows up to play. Tourneys are getting almost as bad and I'm not even excited to play any of them this year either.

Maybe I'm just getting old.
 
I can see where you're coming from.
I was that guy that would stand on the tee and give my fellow card mates the gentle, "I'm not throwing until you shut up" stare. Been working though that and I'm much more tolerant of noise.
Like you, if I can't tune it out, I'll put in earbuds and tune that in.

I've found a polite ask is more effective than the gentle stare. Key word, polite. Otherwise you can get Hyzerflip's situation. People are bad at reading social cues when they've been drinking.
 
I'm not terribly affected by noise and such, but a lot of people are, so I try to be a good example to people in the group. If they are being lound just saying something in a calm manner can help a lot.
 
My 7 year old son has problems with this too, but at least he's learning

Not DG related but we thought our 7 year old daughter might learn to time stuff better, like not going off on a rant in the last five minutes of a show or movie when you find out who killed em/ won the prize etc. Or interrupting conversations in progress to tell a story.

Keep working on it, she's 16 now and still the same. Haha

As far as courtesy on the course, you asked politely he should just shut up.... But whiskey drunk is belligerent drunk.. So good luck there. I don't have issues with talking sometimes I have more trouble with silence then I know everyone is watching
 
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I think you have to somewhat make yourself immune to distractions on the course. The course I usually play is flanked by a busy road and a highway on 2 sides. The road noise is always there.

I'm used to playing in less than quiet conditions. Honestly, I think wind gets me off my game more than noise or boorish people on the course.

What pisses me off most are when guys hit (or almost hit) you with their discs without ever warning you a disc is coming. I've seen it.

Many DG'ers are causal players with little sense of etiquette. They're there more to get drunk and smoke weed than anything else.
 
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Where's DatRedDude to call you a mental midget?

Not sure man, I'm pretty good at crosswords and trivia, I think my mental game is spot on lol.

Isn't he the one who called Catrina that? She seems to have turned things around so I guess there is hope for me, lol. It's amazing though how much headphones help my game. One round I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn on the front nine, and then went seven down on the back after putting headphones in.
 
Honestly wearing my earphones helps me stay in my zone, and I can play the music low enough that I can still be part of group conversations when I need or want to be.

It's not much different than when you see poker players wearing headphones. They are generally low volume enough to hear what you need to hear, but up enough to screen out distractions. I only put my headphones in when I'm at a table if there's too much obnoxious chatter. So on the course, I never considered wearing headphones until I see that Kevin Jones manages to play with them all the time. If it helps you, then I'm glad you found an easy solution! And Bluetooth makes the whole headphone thing so much easier these days.
 
it is hard to find balance. I am not distracted by anything on a disc golf course, but understand some are. I honestly find the headphone clan pretty discourteous in general. Disc golf is a social event for me as well as a competition. Having some deaf/mute tagging along can be annoying as well. Especially when you have to ask his score six times a hole.

I am going to say that your irritation and annoyance is on you, though. You have to own it. It is not the fault of the talkers or the drunk. Deal with it or put a stop to it. There are smart ways to do both. If a guy cuts you off in traffic and you get angry, the anger belongs to you, not the sh*thead driver in the Dodge that cut you off.
 
it is hard to find balance. I am not distracted by anything on a disc golf course, but understand some are. I honestly find the headphone clan pretty discourteous in general. Disc golf is a social event for me as well as a competition. Having some deaf/mute tagging along can be annoying as well. Especially when you have to ask his score six times a hole.

I am going to say that your irritation and annoyance is on you, though. You have to own it. It is not the fault of the talkers or the drunk. Deal with it or put a stop to it. There are smart ways to do both. If a guy cuts you off in traffic and you get angry, the anger belongs to you, not the sh*thead driver in the Dodge that cut you off.

Having played with people who are actually deaf, I assure you that they're not the problem that the temporarily deaf are.
 

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