I reject that kind of punk mentality
just wanted to say don't be a b*tch
I thought about your statement a bit today, and wanted to unwind my retraction in a certain way. I think there's value, administered appropriately, in mental tough love or setting high expectations. There is, I believe, a certain magic in saying 'no, this is the standard, and you must meet it'. I know I sound all boomerish, but it feels like there should be more of that kind of interpersonal expectation setting. I feel like it's a blessing in disguise when you have people that do that for you, sometimes.
Certainly, as I said before, certain things may work for you. If it works for you, then keep doing if for yourself.
But, I think it's important to note the difference in language that's being used here, and the subtle differences between them. In the first case, you are essentially doubling down on the negative thought. You feel like garbage after the first round and your self messaging is "Yeah, you are garbage if you don't complete the tournament". The self messaging is accepting the idea that not accomplishing certain things makes you a garbage human being.
Whereas the second could be simply a reminder of your own personal standards. There are some implications in the way it's phrased, but, depending on how one approaches it, it isn't intrinsically a judgement on self worth. If finishing is important to you, then do your best to accomplish it.
There was a period of a few years where I was doing triathlons. Just sprints, nothing extreme. I am not a natural triathlete, to put it mildly. There are reasons I didn't turn in good times. Nonetheless, I eventually signed up for my first open water swim at an event called the Kure Beach Double Sprint. You did an open swim out past the breakers, along the beach for 350M or so, and then back in. Then you left the beach, ran 2.5K to your bike, did a 10 K loop on the bike and then did the loop again, then ran back to the beach, and the finished by doing the same swim again. NBD to the serious triathletes, but a BFD to me.
Just getting out past the breakers was one of the tougher things I've done. Trying to swim in a pack of open water swimmers for the first time can't be explained, it can only be experienced. I thought I had lined up at the back of the pack, but got so tunnel focused that I didn't realize that 1/2 the field was in behind me. When I got to the buoy marker after swimming out past the breakers I made a noise of … some combination of relief and exhaustion. The safety kayak started paddling toward me. I eventually made it all the way through the swim, no one in my wave in sight, but I was totally gassed at that point.
About 1/2 mile into the run I stepped into one of those little depressions in asphalt that happen when the roadbed underneath isn't properly packed. My ankle started rolling, I started falling, and I went full cirque-de-soleil and combat rolled through it to come back on my feet. Someone in the next wave had caught up to me and was passing me and I'm not sure I've ever heard someone sound quite so surprised.
If I had anything left in the tank before that, I didn't after. It was just an exercise in stumbling at that point. But eventuallyI made it through the run, through the bike ride, through the run back to the beach. And I got back in the water and somehow made it through that too. Finally basically stumbling through the finish line on the beach where my friends were waiting. There wasn't anyone else on the course that I could see. Even the 73 year old woman finished with a better time than I did (although, to be fair, Sharon Roggenbuck is something of a triathalon legend).
I'm not sure I've ever been as deflated as I was when I finished. There was no sense of accomplishment. No relief at finishing. Nothing but a yawning emptiness of pain and misery. I had nothing left in my tank, including the capacity for happiness. You can tell me it "should" have made me feel positive, or you can tell me it "should" have motivated me to train harder next time, and I'll simply tell you that it didn't.
Was finishing worth it? Well, finishing is important to me, so yeah, probably it was. DFL is better than DNF is better than DNS.
But I haven't felt the urge to sign up for any tris since, and I believe that's all for the better.