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Crystal Mountain reviews
13
0
Pure Masochism
Reviewed:
Updated:
Played on:Aug 28, 2023
Played the course:once
Pros:
- Nine baskets with some reasonably tasty elevation and a bit of woods criss crossed with ski trails, lift equipment, buildings, and other random infrastructure (was that a yurt?) to play thru and around.
- Green arrows point the way. Maps at action center.
- Green arrows point the way. Maps at action center.
Cons:
- I'm going to be straight with you. Whoever designed this course and then made the decision to start it at the very top of a 45-degree 1000' mountain, and then deny guests wanting to disc golf lift/ride access to the top, is an asshole of the greatest magnitude. They sell it to you as "the skilift is out, but alt arrangement to the top available" until you've paid and are there, then it's "Disc golf walks." Total assholery. Later as I'm coming down the mountain I see staff lazing around in a gator at the foot of the mountain. Absolutely fucking atrocious customer service.
- Ok, you lied to me, took my money, rudely told me to hoof it, I almost died halfway up of a heart attack (and I just finished a multiday hiking trip so I'm def in good hill-hiking shape). Is the disc golf worth it? No. Is the scenery worth it? Not unless you think looking at distant treetops thru a snarl of ski infrastructure is pretty (it's not).
- Finish the huge climb to 1 and...here, asshole, get rewarded with more uphill holes. I've literally never been madder at a course than this. The weird mix of death elevation, short holes, and long bombers prevent this from being AT ALL attractive to newbs, families, or casuals. Only hardcore course baggers and dg masochists should think of tackling this. If you need a cart, or have medical conditions, seriously skip this one.
- The one long downhill bomber 800+ anny shot isn't worth the climb. Hard right turn off the tee, woods on each side of the dogleg right fairway. The fairways here were poorly maintained and full of cockleburrs, adding to the nightmare. At the end is a basket across a roadway, with park vehicles driving thru blind from both directions.
- Wonky ass design. More walking to, from, and to the next hole than actual dg. Dodging ski infrastructure and roads sucks. Blind-to-cars on road shots, throwing up and down roads sucks.
- Horribly mushy sand tees. Yuck. Thorn bushes in the circle. Leaning basket on #6 iirc. Long walk after 9 (a 500' anticlimatic downhiller with basket oddly placed behind some ski barrier thingies).
-Worst part: zero repeatability, because who in their right mind would climb that stupid slope for another go of roadway and skirope crap-ass design? Surely not me.
- Ok, you lied to me, took my money, rudely told me to hoof it, I almost died halfway up of a heart attack (and I just finished a multiday hiking trip so I'm def in good hill-hiking shape). Is the disc golf worth it? No. Is the scenery worth it? Not unless you think looking at distant treetops thru a snarl of ski infrastructure is pretty (it's not).
- Finish the huge climb to 1 and...here, asshole, get rewarded with more uphill holes. I've literally never been madder at a course than this. The weird mix of death elevation, short holes, and long bombers prevent this from being AT ALL attractive to newbs, families, or casuals. Only hardcore course baggers and dg masochists should think of tackling this. If you need a cart, or have medical conditions, seriously skip this one.
- The one long downhill bomber 800+ anny shot isn't worth the climb. Hard right turn off the tee, woods on each side of the dogleg right fairway. The fairways here were poorly maintained and full of cockleburrs, adding to the nightmare. At the end is a basket across a roadway, with park vehicles driving thru blind from both directions.
- Wonky ass design. More walking to, from, and to the next hole than actual dg. Dodging ski infrastructure and roads sucks. Blind-to-cars on road shots, throwing up and down roads sucks.
- Horribly mushy sand tees. Yuck. Thorn bushes in the circle. Leaning basket on #6 iirc. Long walk after 9 (a 500' anticlimatic downhiller with basket oddly placed behind some ski barrier thingies).
-Worst part: zero repeatability, because who in their right mind would climb that stupid slope for another go of roadway and skirope crap-ass design? Surely not me.
Other Thoughts:
- If this were a typical chitty city park niner, transposed off the mountain, it would actually increase the rating. Probably a 1- to 1.5- disc rating without the bullshittery of no lift/ride access and death ascent.
-I hate f'ing liars.
-I hate f'ing liars.
13
1
Completely Unacceptable 2+ years drive by
Reviewed:
Updated:
Played on:Sep 19, 2010
Played the course:once
Pros:
Three different tees per hole, if you can find them.
Not too much loose sand as is common on other Michigan ski hill courses.
Baskets are in good repair.
I honestly can't think of anything else.
Not too much loose sand as is common on other Michigan ski hill courses.
Baskets are in good repair.
I honestly can't think of anything else.
Cons:
Hole 2 fairway splits and is not signed where the hole is.
The course is completely devoid of informative signage. Not just tee signs, but next tees signs too. Tees are marked (sometimes) with colored whiffle balls.
I missed the tee for hole 7. I actually threw from what looked like a tee down the mountain, but without a basket, or signage telling me the length, I kept throwing. As a result, I ended up at the bottom of the mountain on the other side of the property.
This made for a LONG walk back, without the payoff of the long holes. I don't think I've ever been more angry after a round than this. The walk would have been longer, but the bike path I used was adequately signed showing the way to my car.
As you can imagine, this just pissed me off more.
No defined teepads. The length of these holes really demands concrete tees.
Course follows access roads for the first half, completely ignoring wonderful land around it.
The course is completely devoid of informative signage. Not just tee signs, but next tees signs too. Tees are marked (sometimes) with colored whiffle balls.
I missed the tee for hole 7. I actually threw from what looked like a tee down the mountain, but without a basket, or signage telling me the length, I kept throwing. As a result, I ended up at the bottom of the mountain on the other side of the property.
This made for a LONG walk back, without the payoff of the long holes. I don't think I've ever been more angry after a round than this. The walk would have been longer, but the bike path I used was adequately signed showing the way to my car.
As you can imagine, this just pissed me off more.
No defined teepads. The length of these holes really demands concrete tees.
Course follows access roads for the first half, completely ignoring wonderful land around it.
Other Thoughts:
I find a course like this completely unacceptable.
DG courses are, on the whole, very cheap to begin with, and completely disregarding tee signs, next tee signs and concrete tees (or ANY type of defined tee) is pathetic for a business like Crystal Mountain, for whom a $300-$500 expenditure is peanuts.
I stopped in to the Mountain Adventure Zone to check out their selection, and with the intent of buying a few discs and maybe a T-shirt. They had no stock, and I mean the walls were bare.
Crystal Mountain may want to consider that the margin on these items is around 50% and with a few sales, they can make the money needed to turn their current piece of crap course into something approaching playable.
DG courses are, on the whole, very cheap to begin with, and completely disregarding tee signs, next tee signs and concrete tees (or ANY type of defined tee) is pathetic for a business like Crystal Mountain, for whom a $300-$500 expenditure is peanuts.
I stopped in to the Mountain Adventure Zone to check out their selection, and with the intent of buying a few discs and maybe a T-shirt. They had no stock, and I mean the walls were bare.
Crystal Mountain may want to consider that the margin on these items is around 50% and with a few sales, they can make the money needed to turn their current piece of crap course into something approaching playable.
