-Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh......dear! Ohdearohdearohdearohdearohdearodearohdearohdearohdeeeeeeaaaaaar!!!! HUGE place. When you get here, it'll take you about five minutes to get to the course because it's a mile away from the entrance. If you were to come here with an open mind, you'd be very enthusiastic and think this would be a 4 star course at worst. Which would be well worth the drive if it's 4 stars. The land here is spectacular.

-It's clear that a lot of work was put into this course. The tee-signs are very nice. Tee pads are lengthy. The discCatcher baskets are superb. The course kiosk is pretty sexy. And the course condition is FLAWLESS. So well maintained. There are plenty of blind shots here but you'll still probably leave with no lost discs.

-It starts off pretty solid with an appropriate kickoff hole. It's a relatively easy hole from the long and is a warmup from the short. The finishing hole is a pretty nice challenge too. Very technical par 4 that is slightly downhill the whole way. A few other cool holes here as well. #6 short was probably my favorite hole.

-Many open bombs on the longs. So if distance is the best part of your game, you may very well play well on the longs. The shorts make a fair accuracy course where if your putting is on and if your up shots are good enough, you could shoot well under par.

-I'm giving this course a 2.5 ONLY because of how great the park is, and the astounding work and effort they put here. I actually hate this course. It's boring as all getout. Many fairways are repetitive. Open with limited elevation on the holes that actually have it. And some of the wooded holes are a disaster. New013 wrote a great review that should've caught the attention of the locals around here. That may have been the greatest review to ever be written on this entire site. But sometimes whenever the truth gets difficult or negative, some people get incredibly upset or just laugh, stay in denial, and the right words go in one ear and out the other.

-How in the (insert the word that got me in trouble at summer camp when I was 12, you know what it is) do you play #2 long? You're literally looking dead straight at a limited wooded fairway with so many trees to the left side at the turn. The fairway quickly turns but gently the rest of the way. I wouldn't have been so put off about this hole if this course was brand new. I would've assumed several of those trees straight ahead would be cut down. This course has been around since early 2015 so it looks like it's not gonna change. I know that the fairway isn't too tight, but it's shaped in a way they should never look. Discs don't fly like that.

-SO many anhyzer shots. Why so many? Very few hyzer holes or holes that go to the left. The ones that do are either poorly designed or boring aside from 18.

-While hole 6 is a cool hole from the short, it's really awful from the long. 438' and downhill, so it plays shorter but you still have to put some power into it. It's a good 270' to a small gap where the fairway gently goes right I would guess. But it's awfully small for a gap to hit from 270' away. Either hit that small gap, hit a tree and scramble to save a par on this par 3, or throw a huge flick and pray it goes to the wider landing zone just to have a 100' downhill putt in the woods for a 2 that will rarely be made.

-#9 is a filler in a spot where a long downhill bomb could easily have been designed. The field is huge. #10 is an uphill hyzer next to a hilly wooded area. To be fair, this hole isn't too bad from the long, but it's a feckless putter toss from the short pad.

I was starting to see a pattern here that I hate. Filler, poorly designed hole, filler, filler, and then there's a decent hole.

-#11 isn't a bad hole because it's a downhill bomb. But there were better options to make this more of a legit par 4. There are woods behind the tee pad, and there are woods past the basket. It's not a legit par 4. Just rip it and if you throw far, you might be looking at eagle and just grin for a few seconds if you make it.

-#12-16 is a string anhyzer holes that range on the scale from awful to almost okay.

-The Patriot is like a failing restaurant on Kitchen Nightmares owned by a materialistic married couple. It looks nice, they spend a lot of money trying to compensate for the terrible raw food they serve kept unwrapped in a fridge and they microwave it because they can't afford to fix their stove because all their money is spent on nic-nacs and the bank is fed up with them borrowing money because they basically scammed it. You triad people need to let the Gordon Ramsay out of you, find Russell, and start swearing up a storm (not a fan of Gordon Ramsay, this is just a comparison) But after all, I'm just beating a dead horse anyway.

-Patriot is the ultimate college phony. Seems really nice and is extremely involved with campus ministry, he or she's gonna get all up in your face and give you a hug and pretend to be one of your biggest fans and you're gonna be a little skeptical and think they are on shrooms, acid, or something else, but you go with it anyway and y'all connect with each other about your lives. Then he/she is gonna start slandering you and a hundred other people and two months later, you find out that they just wanted your attention and want nothing to do with you. Y'all continue with your lives and you walk past them and they give you a nasty look and think they are superior to you, even though they have a useless major and are in denial about how they are in serious risk of being in the unemployment line while you're out there having so many awesome job opportunities and are winning awards in campus activities. Course is deceptively bad.

I came here excited to play this course and was underwhelmed for a bit, and then really wanted to get out of here once I got to hole 12.

-I don't like this course at all. If I move here after I graduate, one thing for sure is that I'll fight to get this piece of coal of a course redesigned. You triad people deserve better than this. Y'all need to step up and tell the Parks and Rec Department how much better this place could unarguably be. I don't know if there were rigorous land restrictions or what but if all my best ideas got shut down, I would just move on to somewhere else. Too many wide open holes, whole lot of repetition, and some bad wooded holes does not make a great course.

This is one of the nicest parks I have ever played DG in. The whole park is immaculately maintained and that includes the Patriot course. The signage is excellent and looks like it is built to last. The tee pads are perfectly poured and have a nice grippy surface. There is mulch everywhere it is needed, the fairways are mowed, and I didn't see a single piece of trash on the ground.

Triad disc golfers are blessed that this tract of land has been dedicated to disc golf. There is ample room to work with, a nice mix of woods and open areas, and a nice variety of terrain features and elevation changes.

Unfortunately when you consider what could be, the design from the blue tees is a major let down. There are several design mistakes that are repeated over and over on this course and it is really sad to see. Near the end of the round I realized that the holes could be grouped together by the most egregious flaw and here is what I came up with.

(#4,11,and 16) Wide open par 4s where 90% of blue level players will take a tap in 3. These holes are really disappointing because moving the baskets back another 50 feet (there is plenty of room) would make them great par 4s. However as they are, you throw a wide open drive, a simple upshot to a nearly wide open basket, and tap in for 3. There is zero risk/reward on the drive, you literally have hundreds of feet of leeway to "place" your drive. There is space and obstacles available nearby to add difficulty but they are not used.

(#3,6, and 13) Par 3's that start out open and finish with a dumb gap into the woods. Good luck hitting the sliver of a gap on the other side of the 300 foot field. If you do then you can celebrate and take a birdie putt, if you don't then find a little opening and toss a 50 foot upshot for your tap in par. The safe play is to disregard the gap entirely and throw hyzer that might crash through the trees to the basket.

(#10,14,15) Long par 3's that the majority of blue level players can't reach. For right hand backhanders 10 is a huge hyzer, 14 is a huge anhyzer, and 15 is slight anhyzer. 15 is the most reachable but does play longer than the 399 feet listed, especially if the wind is in your face. 10 and 15 are wide open and there is no difficulty in placing the drive. Get your easy boring 3 and keep moving.

(#4,5,9) Tees that are barely in the woods throwing out into the field. These tees could be moved back to require accuracy but instead they are so close to the edge it is pointless. On 5 and 9 you just throw a big hyzer to a basket in the middle of the field.

(#2,7) Wooded holes with absurd lines. You could spend all day throwing drives down the supposed fairway on 2 and never get one in the circle. You're better off cutting the corner and praying. 7 is not much better. There is nothing wrong with a narrow fairway but the twist and turns here just don't gel with how disc fly.

That leaves 1,8,12,17 and 18 as the only holes without glaring errors. Even though these holes are decent, there is not a single great hole on a course that should be full of them.

You walk through this course looking at all of the cool holes that could have been. I won't go out of my way to play this course again until I hear that it's been tweaked or alternate basket locations have been added.

Layout: Two Pads per hole which usually changes the angle a bit and adds distance, some have unique looks from each pad.

Mixes up open and wooded holes throughout (although mostly open), and serves up some holes that go from one to the other.

It's a NC rarity to have so much bombing capability, plenty of chances to get out a driver and let it fly.

There's some rolling hill elevation changes in parts although nothing drastic or memorable.

There's one good par 4, it's the last hole on the course.

I thought the first hole was a good starter and I did like a couple others.

Equipment: This course should be the standard for how P&R departments install public courses.

Great level concrete tees. Amazing signage not only on each hole but guiding you around the course. Bag holders on each hole and park benches spread throughout. There's a big ole map and info board along with a practice basket by #1.

Atmosphere: This park is new and really awesome. It's not only beautiful but you can tell a lot of money and hours went in to making this expansive chunk of land an attractive place to enjoy for all.

Whoever installed the course did an incredible of job of manicuring it. It has that broken in course feel right out of the gate, there's no limbs laying around the fairways or any of the other new course hangups you typically see. Props to those guys for doing such an amazing job of making this course shine.

This is my warning that the rest of this review will not follow my usual outline. I'm about to explain to you why this course is completely *expletive* and why Russell should be banned from ever designing another course on this planet or any other planet with beings capable of feeling the frustration I felt while playing another one of his gems.

It's going to be a rant and I have no clue how long it will last or where it will go, so take this time to prepare and get refreshments and possibly record that program you were about to watch after reading this.

The Patriot is a trophy wife, sexy on the outside with lackluster emptiness oozing from within. She's going to marry you and make you look good hanging on your arm but in the end she'll cut your brakes to collect on your life insurance policy.

The Patriot is the Earl Manigault of disc golf courses. If you don't know who that is my point has been made.

The Patriot is Nigerian mail fraud, poisoned Halloween candy and every touched up photo gracing a magazine cover.

It had all the ingredients for greatness, the supporting cast to grow up right and cure cancer and then...... and then it was Schwarzed.

Schwarzed is a wooded fairway that belongs in any new Shamalylan flick. The twist is dumb and leaves you puzzled.

Schwarzed is a par 3 where the only option is getting a 3; anything else means you screwed up your short wide open upshot.

Schwarzed is so wide open even though he thinks he made an obstacle... or so impossible because he figured hey its wide open.

Schwarzed is an engima wrapped in a steaming pile of dog... you get the picture.

(All references to shots in this portion are in accordance with my right handed bias) (I'm also assuming for references to blue pads that blue level players and up can throw around 400'.)

Hole 1: Like I said this is a good starting hole, it's open but not too open. Makes you choose a line and gives you one to warm up on while starting your round off with a bird... or not starting off with a bird and falling behind the pack.

Hole 2: It's nearly Imdingdongpossible to get your disc all the way to the basket down the intended fairway from the blue tees. You'd have to throw the most perfect flipup hyzer of your life executed so perfectly it would make your prom dates panties fall off in the past on prom night.

There is a completely unintended more pure hyzer possibility if you go through a tiny Y gap and then thread a needle. Good Luck.

The red tee is a little putter anny, decent hole.

Hole 3: From the blues you can try to punch a 380' slightly downhill laser beam with a slight fade under a low overhang and risk hitting it, or getting caught up on the left, in the name of maybe hitting the gap in the woods 350' down and having a look at bird. OR... you can just throw a hyzer around that and maybe get through the trees for a look and hey if you don't there's no risk you're definitely getting a 3.

Hole 4: OMG look at that daunting giant gap I'll definitely hit as I throw out in to a wide open field where I'll then crest a little hill pick up my disc and throw an almost completely lackluster challenge-less approach shot another 100' or so to a basket so barely tucked in the woods it might as well be out here in the wide open as well.

Russellvision: 'Hmm I could back this pad up in the woods more to make the drive more challenging and I could push the basket in to the woods more to make the approach halfway somewhat possibly interesting but screw that I don't get paid by the hour.'

Hole 5: I think he thinks those trees on the right of the blue tee actually prevent you from hyzering.... they don't. Feel free to throw whatever shot you desire 400' because it's wide open.

....to be fair they planted some trees near the basket so in the future you might hit one and have to make like a 40' putt. Woe is you.

The red tee on this hole is also wide open and 243'. Wake me up when Schwarzember ends.

Hole 6: ... yes I'm going to do this for every crappy hole; quit now if you want this is more for me than for you anyway.

Hole 6: This is where it gets special, this is where all those years of design experience shine through. The blue is a 438' (plays around 380') downhill shot where at about 400' you're asked to hit a tiny little gap that cuts diagonally to the right inside of a treeline. Not only is hitting that gap unlikely on a consistent basis, if you do happen to kick off a tree or fade left you're going farther down-in to an ethereal abyss of briar and swampnasty. Somebody on your card will end up there and you'll probably be called to go help him find his disc in that muck and at that point you'll know you've been Schwarzed.

Russellvision: 'Hey I can cut the gap earlier in to the treeline and make the hole 50/50 wooded/open thus taking the swampnasty out of the picture, or even possibly just cutting a notch in the woods and not making you hit a ridiculous gap but insert whatever insanity he uses as logic'

Hole 7: http://rs1268.pbsrc.com/album...b843.jpg~c200

it's cute enough to keep you going and also lets you know how dumb this hole is.

the red tee is at least possible but equally as (reclick link if neccesary)

Hole 8: I actually think this is a good hole. Throw uphill, maneuver an overhang, hit a gap and fade in to the basket. Solid hole here Russ.

Hole 9: .... annnnnnnnnddddddd she gone. This could be one of the best holes in NC. You COULD be sitting on the tee tucked 100' down in the woods looking up a rolling hill out of a gap that goes out in to the open. You COULD be pureing that gap with a shot that flies just over 300' to crest the hill and you COULD be following that shot up with a now downhill shot that goes another 100' before you have to hit another gap going back in to the woods down and over a small valley where the basket could sit on the far side on what appears to be a really sweet possible green area....

INSTEAD you're 30' in the woods with a gap that makes it pointless to even be in the woods because you can throw a soft hyzer/fade shot right out of it to a basket 350' away in the complete wide open.

This is where I knew he blew it on a scale I didn't even know was possible. This is where I knew Innova must not even care what he puts up in their name because he's done it for years and this backalley columbian nip/tuck is his magnum opus.

Hole 10: Hey there's some woods with some sweet elevation change maybe throw in a wooded ho.... NO GIANT 400' HYZER AROUND THE CORNER GO!

Hole 11: Hey there's some other awesome elevation change and woah is that water? NO POINTLESS WIDE OPEN PAR 4. THROW IT ANYWHERE ABOUT 400' OUT AND THEN APPROACH ANOTHER 100' TO A BASKET THAT COULD BE TUCKED IN THE WOODS WITH A DROP-OFF BEHIND IT BUT INSTEAD ITS JUST ON THE EDGE OF THE WOODS AND ITS TIME FOR MY MEDICATION.

Hole 12: This is where he figured every lefty ever should get revenge for 5 holes straight. Now I'm not saying this particular hole is a lefty hole, I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to be lefty on this 480' straight shot with a gap a little over halfway in which if you fade left you go in to the shit and if you fade right you're in the wide wide open. Unless you throw 450' daggers good luck getting inside the circle.

The red tee actually isn't that bad all things considered.

Hole 13: Hey see this 10' wide gap with an overhang. Hit it from about 280' away and then fade right for another 60'. Or just throw a dumb hyzer in to the trees and even if you don't get through you'll have a pretty easy 3... I feel like I said that before.

Hole 14: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. cough cough hack hack HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hole 15: 400' slight anny. I actually like this hole in a vacuum, especially if they can plant some more trees on the back end. However on this course it's one more shot most people can't accomplish which means most people will end up with a boring wide open short approach and a 3.

Hole 16: It's the exact same shot except 60' longer and this time you can only have a wide open boring short approach shot if you land anywhere on the left side of the basket.

Hole 17: Yes this is almost over and yes that's exactly how I felt when I got to this hole. Again in a vacuum this could be a good hole. It just needs some more obstacles near the tee. Basically the only challenge is hitting a gap 20' from the pin on a 366' wide open hole.

Hole 18: Holy Cow a good wooded hole... and it's a par 4... throw down a defined fairway fade just a bit then approach through more tunnel with OB looming on the left if you fade out to early or kick off that way.... IT'S A GOOD HOLE HALLELUJAH1111... why doesn't caps lock make numbers caps?

The entire time you're dealing with all of that nonsense you see just absolute potential all around you. You see where each amazing hole could of gone and then you play what is there. It's almost like ball golf hired Russell to discourage us.

It's an epic failure in a time when the term epic is overused. If I lived near here I'd be asking for a redesign asap. This place has 4.5 potential and if you play a mixed tee layout it's a 3 tops. I'm not even going to give a 3 because of how awful it made me feel inside. He made it hard to enjoy the beautiful atmosphere of this park the design was so terrible. I should of just checked out the war memorial and left.....

but those signs... and those pads... they're great. 5 STARS!!!!!!

Somebody stop him, he's ruining NC disc golf, especially in the Triad. At what point do you Triad people say no thanks Russ we got it? I know you probably don't have a lot of control over it but start writing your P&R departments now, tell them to kick this guy, literally. This could be the crown jewel of the area and instead you got curb stomped.

Drops Mic.... rushes over to see if Mic is okay because I'll probably review a Russ gem again.

May the Schwarzed never be with you.



PS... if you do go play it I recommend the following mixed layout in an attempt to help you not want to punch something.

1B, 2R, 3R, 4B, 5B, 6R, 7R, 8B, 9B, 10R, 11R, 12R, 13B, 14R, 15B, 16R, 17B, 18B.

Has all the luster and doo-dads of a professional course but the actual design leaves a bit to be desired. Here are the positives:

Tees are concrete, spacious and about perfect. You like signage, you got signage, Stevie Wonder couldn't get lost here. There's even a sign pointing you towards the parking lot that you can actually see, great for those golfers with alzheimers or short term memory loss I guess. We've even got bag hangers, yeah man. Great benches and trash cans are available every few holes.

The course is 3/4 open but for the most part you're still asked to shape some sort of line instead of just schlepping across an empty field like your tasked to destroy the ring at Mordor. The wooded holes generally have defined fairways and a couple have some nice pin locations. There's not a ton of elevation change but there is some. There's some nice in & out of woods on a few holes which is always nice.

The Red tees are a bit long overall for Red players but not too bad, a fun, birdie-filled round. The Blues have some more drastic fairway lines like U-shaped and big L's. It's a nice park and although no real Appalachian beauty it's a pleasant round aesthetically.

Subjective Con: Too many hump holes (the opposite of valley holes). I hate them. They obscure the basket and suck 90% of the fun out of long holes. I think every time Schwartz puts a tee on top of a hill he loses time off his lifespan due to an old gypsy curse or something.

More objective Con: I also don't think Schwartz quite 'gets' wooded holes. If you can reach hole 2's basket from the blue tee, through the air, you are a wizard and you are wasting your magic on disc golf. Cure cancer or prevent future Nicholas Cage movies, something, anything. Another example is hole 13 where you are asked to hit a ~20' gap from 200'+ away. Getting a deuce on this hole is like Bugs Bunny diving from the high dive into a shot glass.

Pars for the Blue layout is sketchy. A few holes felt like 3/4 tweeners. It was really windy though and I've only played the course a couple of times so don't take this for gospel. Hole 2 seems too wooded to be a 3, hole 10 seems more like an easy 4 than a 3 (might change my mind on this one), and no way can a Blue player birdie hole 14 without some act of God. They don't make boomerang discs yet.

Minor safety quibbles: The 'safe' line for hole one is basically a hyzer over the entrance to the parking lot. Hole 17 crosses over a gravel park road. And of course with all the hump holes you have to walk uphill a lot to see if the hole is cleared out, lame.

I like hole 3's pin placement but I think it will get washed out pretty quickly during heavy rains. There are a few other holes where they could be proactive and put up some erosion barriers to keep time and foot traffic from exposing tree roots.

Update: Holes 13 and 14 are out due to pipeline construction so you're gonna wanna play 12>16, then play new hole A which is due left of 16's basket. Then hole B is the only other visible hole in the field, it's a dogleg right that bends after the gap in the tree line. Then play 17 and 18. Also, I noticed that the scorecards don't add up right.

If you've played the open holes at Yadkin park then you have a pretty good idea of how this course plays (minus the scenic views of course). It's very solid and worth driving over the endless speed bumps to get to. The best thing about this course is that it's already looking to be popular so hopefully it reduces the amount of traffic nearby Johnson St. gets.

One of Schwartz's better designs.