Advise the mullet

[enragedmullet]

I'm playing my first tournament in 9 years next Sunday. It'll be the 2nd tournament I've played in.*
Why the gap? Meh. Competing in tourneys is a bit antithetical to the main ethos of being a
professional recreational player. This is more to support a local course and the timing just sort of worked
for me.

Anyway, I'm looking for any advice, serious, sarcastic, cynical or hilarious. Dump some gems on me, crew.

*The first tourney I played in was a course I'd played only once and I came in last. I was still
pretty new to the sport. So I figure, if I come in last Sunday I can at LEAST say that I'm still as good as
I was almost a decade ago, and how many professional (recreational) athletes can say that? Lebron?

So I got that goin' for me.

 

[Sewer bill]

I reccomend lots of ace runs and forehand rollers. Don't lay anything up.

 

[enragedmullet]

I reccomend lots of ace runs and forehand rollers. Don't lay anything up.

Go big or go home, right?

 

[PastorofMuppets]

I recommend rolling up in a rented tuxedo to check in with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth, roll down the window and ask where tee pad number one is and what the course record is.

 

[enragedmullet]

I recommend rolling up in a rented tuxedo to check in with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth, roll down the window and ask where tee pad number one is and what the course record is.

In pumpkin orange, a la Dumb & Dumber right?

 

[PastorofMuppets]

In pumpkin orange, a la Dumb & Dumber right?

Unless you are more of a Periwinkle or Chartreuse individual. Something that accents your cheekbone structure perhaps? But still says, I like to party?

 

[enragedmullet]

Unless you are more of a Periwinkle or Chartreuse individual. Something that accents your cheekbone structure perhaps? But still says, I like to party?

tuxedo t-shirt?

 

[PastorofMuppets]

tuxedo t-shirt?

Only if sleeveless and paired with Jorts (Cut off jean shorts) and some white New Balances. Now that's the guy I want on my card, and to have a round with after.

 

[enragedmullet]

Only if sleeveless and paired with Jorts (Cut off jean shorts) and some white New Balances. Now that's the guy I want on my card, and to have a round with after.

show up w/ some PBR and channel my inner John Daly

 

[ChrisWoj]

Use your wallet as a mini. Get drunk enough to leave it behind at least twice during the second round.

 

[enragedmullet]

Use your wallet as a mini. Get drunk enough to leave it behind at least twice during the second round.

that sounds like something you've seen happen in real life

 

[enragedmullet]

I recommend rolling up in a rented tuxedo to check in with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth, roll down the window and ask where tee pad number one is and what the course record is.

i went to the course for a practice round yesterday and thought of this - what's funny is when i did go for aces on some holes i found myself considering doing the same thing at the tourney

 

[ChrisWoj]

that sounds like something you've seen happen in real life

I have not seen it happen during tournament play.
I have had it happen while playing small cash/casual rounds with a friend.
I have seen said friend running back across the course for his wallet during local dubs leagues.
I have heard of said friend running back across the course for his wallet during tournaments.

 

[ChrisWoj]

that sounds like something you've seen happen in real life

Oh shit I almost forgot the best one - I have heard of the friend I mentioned ALSO getting into a shouting match with long-time Michigan pro Mike Raley over it. Apparently Raley forced him to stop using his wallet as a mini and he just got completely outraged over the fact that someone would call him on it. I know Raley can be a bit stiff at times (you WILL get lectured if you nice his disc during a tournament), but I also know for sure that the whole situation was on the friend. I can 100% see him blowing up over being asked to stop using his wallet as a mini.

I think the 2007 Vienna Park Open was the last time Raley played a tournament at Vienna Park (the friend's home course, the friend was the designer of the layout at the time in 2001). I think he played there semi-frequently before that.

 

[pmay5]

Since I've been here in Maine, I've found a wallet on the course, Sabattus-Eagle,
3 Discs on courses and 1 Disc in the campground where we are staying.
So be sure to pick up after yourself!!

Oh yea, and I've heard its good to drop a deuce before you start!!

 

[DanJon]

You should definitely poop before your round.

 

[enragedmullet]

You should definitely poop before your round.

I did indeed.

 

[Skamanda]

Oh shit I almost forgot the best one - I have heard of the friend I mentioned ALSO getting into a shouting match with long-time Michigan pro Mike Raley over it. Apparently Raley forced him to stop using his wallet as a mini and he just got completely outraged over the fact that someone would call him on it. I know Raley can be a bit stiff at times (you WILL get lectured if you nice his disc during a tournament), but I also know for sure that the whole situation was on the friend. I can 100% see him blowing up over being asked to stop using his wallet as a mini.

I think the 2007 Vienna Park Open was the last time Raley played a tournament at Vienna Park (the friend's home course, the friend was the designer of the layout at the time in 2001). I think he played there semi-frequently before that.

Raley was, by all accounts, insufferable.

 

[ChrisWoj]

Raley was, by all accounts, insufferable.

I guess I didn't golf with him enough to come to that conclusion. I knew that if I was courteous I'd have a smooth round with him, never had a problem at all and I'd say overall I enjoyed my rounds against him. He's up there with Brad Schick as one of those dudes I just couldn't seem to get ahead of even for a single weekend, so much consistency.