What's your best Disc Golf jokes of all time

[HyzerUniBomber]

Two disc golfers are playing a round and it becomes clear that one of them is taking liberties with the scorecard. A heated argument ensues and in a fit of rage, a high speed driver is wielded as an axe - smashing the pencil whipper's skull into a bloody pulp, killing the poor fella.

Overcome with remorse the murder calls the police and confesses his crime.

The police arrive and question him.

"How many times did you hit him in the head?" asks the officer.

"... I don't know, 3... 4... 5 times? Ahh, just put me down for a 3."

 

[mrtho]

I don't know if it existed before then but someone was doing a giveaway on Reddit asking for puns and I made this up.

I was drinking Budweiser on the course and I had a horrible round. I kept Anheuser-ing all my shots into the Busch-es.



I'll let myself out

 

[pauldst]

I found it:

Now I just have to figure out how to make it work...

 

[Geer_Boggles]

What do you do when your girlfriend tries to stop you from playing disc golf? You Destroyer...

Some random guy behind you says you suck and tries to get into a confrontation with you, what do you say? Comet me bro!

How does a french guy describe a Jedi's power? "It's Z-Force"

I've got more but I'm gonna go ahead and stop while I'm behind.

 

[BobFromAccounting]

I saw a thread on another forum, where the OP asked what people thought of the new lie area rule and included the above image. One person responded, "Lefties are gonna have a hard time.".

It took a minute to see what they meant. Too funny!

 

[Lazerface]

I still don't get it. Right footed shoes?

 

[chevis]

Two guys are playing a round.
As they play they are getting closer and closer to two women that are playing ahead of them.

The one guys says "If they don't move their asses, this is going to take all damn day. I'm going to go up there and tell them to quit gabbing and move it along."

He makes his way forward but only get about half way before coming back. He tell his partner: "I can't do it. I got about half way there when I realized the two women are none other than my wife and my mistress. I can't let them both see me at the same time. You're going to have to go talk to them.

So the other guy heads on down, but quickly returns and says "Wow, amazing coincidence...."

 

[chevis]

Wife: "You're so obsessed with golf, you can't even remember when we got married."

Me: "Yes I can. It was five days after I got my 3rd ace."

 

[joecoin]

A disc golfer's wife allowed him to play in an out of town tournament. He was surprised since she had always been suspicious of his wandering eye.

But she was very supportive, even going so far as to pack his luggage for him.

When he returned she asked him how the tournament was. He responded that it was really great, the only problem he had was that she had neglected to pack any underwear in his suitcase. Imagine his surprise when she informed him that she had packed it in his disc golf bag.

 

[araytx]

Here you go:

 

[chevis]

HER DIARY:

Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet
at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friend all day long, so
I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere
quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked
him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that
he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On
the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I
love
you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted
not! hing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He
seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, about 10
minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my
caress and we made love but I still felt that he was distracted and his
thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore
so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen
asleep. I started crying and
cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure
that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



HIS DIARY:

Played horrible today! Shot a 85. Can't putt for ****.
Got laid though.

 

[Dire Wolfy]

Did you guys know I can throw 500 feet?

 

[NDABRUSH]

Amazing Direwolfy!! Did you keep them in a big pile? And how did you save up that many?

 

[CaptainAnhyzer]

My putting game, as of late

 

[Dire Wolfy]

Amazing Direwolfy!! Did you keep them in a big pile? And how did you save up that many?

Clever

 

[NDABRUSH]

Clever

Thanks. And don't forget to tip your waitress. I have to pinch myself real fast, been called a lot of things.... but never clever. I have just seen the movie "Airplane" sooooo many times that some of the humor rubbed off on me. If you are too young to have seen Airplane, make sure that you do before you become too serious and responsible to laugh at such silliness.

 

[Dire Wolfy]

Thanks. And don't forget to tip your waitress. I have to pinch myself real fast, been called a lot of things.... but never clever. I have just seen the movie "Airplane" sooooo many times that some of the humor rubbed off on me. If you are too young to have seen Airplane, make sure that you do before you become too serious and responsible to laugh at such silliness.

I am not serious at all, believe me.

 

[chevis]

kinda dark humor so

Spoiler

After a particularly poor game of golf on a windy day,a popular club member started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about thirty minutes ago?"

"Yes," the golfer responded.

"Did you happen lose a disc?"

"I searched the trees and never found my disc. How did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your disc flew out onto the highway and entered a driver's window, knocking him out. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a building. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded…

"I guess I'll not lead with the heel, keep my rear leg from not pointing backwards, and give it more hyzer."

 

[Cgkdisc]

Understanding Par

 

[discgolfdillydilly]