Most 970+ rated players have a few things that can't just be obtained by reading forums:
1. They are physically fit.
2. They have the correct body type for disc golf (tall with long arms).
3. They have years of experience.
4. They have a penis.
You need a minimum of all four of these things before you can really start discussing how to be a 1000 rated player.
I know you write this with humor, but I'm still going to take the bait and totally disagree with a few points, #2 in particular -- yes, those points match many of the 1000+ rated players. But I think the most useful advice is going to come from players who don't fit all those criteria.
For those who don't know craigg, who posted above, he's one of the most knowledgeable/experienced people on this board to listen to... he's been playing longer than a lot of the members have been alive, and has averaged approximately 1010-rated golf for as far back as the PDGA-rating system goes, which is just over a decade. I have no idea how long he was playing 1000+ rated golf before that, but I'm sure it was a while.
Many of the best players I've played with aren't necessarily built for disc golf. J.D. Ramirez and I started playing tourneys about the same time back in TX, and he's short, short-armed, and doesn't come across as crazy athletic.
Another Texan, the guy who helped me -- and a bunch of other people -- learn what putting should look like, is Mike Sayre. I know he was among the top 10 players in the world in the mid-90s. He's an unassuming guy who looks like he could be a CPA. Probably 5'8", short arms, roundish-build... and he can drive 400' with a cyclone without looking like he is trying and then straddle putt every shot into the chains from 50' and 60'... crazy to watch. Sayre not only taught me to putt, but also taught me not to judge a disc golfer's skill by his/her appearance.
I imagine that getting your butt handed to you by a 13-year-old like Wiggins Jr. will teach you much the same thing... it's not about appearances. It is about keeping your head in the game, executing consistent shots, and making all your putts.