Tips for my wife

[ray1970]

While I've been playing for about five years now, my wife just started playing about three months ago.

For three months in, I think she plays quite well. She putts pretty solid but sometimes she's just a little off and it frustrates her. I would say her max distance is about 260 but she has some inconsistencies off the tee and an average drive is probably around 225 or so. For reference, she is 53, not very athletic these days, and has some knee issues.

Anyhow, I really try and keep her on easier courses with shorter holes to boost her confidence as she develops her game.

Lately she seems to be getting frustrated with her game and I don't want her to give up as she goes all in with everything she does and in her mind she should be much better by now and throwing farther than she does.

I think some of her recent frustration comes from the fact that she mostly plays with me and sometimes with the guys that I normally play with. I think we are all 850-960 rated and have all been playing for 5+ years and are all men.

I want to keep her interested and having fun. I always encourage her and congratulate her on good shots and try to help her with disc and shot selection when she doesn't know what to do.

Sorry for the long post but I'm looking for ideas to keep the game fun for her until she gets her game dialed in and consistent. Bad days and bad rounds have never discouraged me but sometimes it gets to her and I don't want to see her give up on it.

 

[jakebake91]

Well, it's a much different situation for me, but relatable. I play a lot of rounds with my 6 year old. What I've done playing with him is develop a handicap system so that we can fairly compete.


I'd also remind her that you belong to an internet forum full of people who can't throw as far or putt as good whom she would likely smoke on the course!

 

[jupiterboy]

My wife has gone out with me a few times. Now we have decades of backpacking time together, and she has some injury issues. All I did was to give her a 150g Aviar P&A and a 168g Roc3. I just invite her to come and make sure to say "you could just enjoy the walk and take pics". She usually will do upshots and puts from wherever my tee shot lands—just practicing.

It sounds like your wife is about where I am in terms of skill level. That said, I always make the offer and leave the door open to the experience and never push. I honestly don't think she'll ever spend the time (nor does she have the time) to improve much, but she likes throwing the disc and doing something physical, so no worries.

I was telling her this morning about a practice drill I had seen where you take a putter, mid and driver; throw the putter at max distance, then throw the mid and driver and try and place them next to where the putter lands. Kinda makes a game out of practice. I also have a backyard basket and she will throw some puts out there.

Hope it works out for her.

 

[Zugzwang]

Chances are that her playing alongside much better players will help her to improve?

Not sure if the area you live in has many leagues or tournaments that women can participate in? If not maybe the two of you could spearhead a women's league night around a suitable course? It seems to have been successful around here. It was started in June of this year, is combined with Juniors, plays weekly and draws 6-12 women competitors and about the same in Juniors.

Just a thought.

 

[Steve West]

Shorter can be more frustrating because everyone else can park their drive. Try to find a course where you both need two (and only two) throws to get to the target on many holes.

Easy, open holes lay bare the lack of skill, while tree hits can mask the shortness of throws. Find a course with built-in excuses.

 

[Dingus]

I'm looking for ideas to keep the game fun for her until she gets her game dialed in and consistent.

The best idea is to let her do what she wants. Just ask her. If she wants to keep playing frustrating rounds so be it. If she wants to play easier courses so be it. The death of your mutual disc golf life begins when you start mansplaining ways for her to enjoy herself more.

 

[ray1970]

I do let her play some of the longer par 3's as a par four. First she thought I was being nice or giving her some sort of special treatment. Once she started watching more tournaments on YouTube she understood that sometimes a par 3 for men plays as a par 4 for the ladies.

I sort of wish there were more women that she could play with because I think (especially in something like FA50) she would see that her skills are probably close to comparable to some of her peers already.

Trying to play some longer holes is hit or miss. Take a 400' par 3 for example. Assuming it's an easier hole, two 200' shots should have her dropping in for an easy par. Unfortunately, what happens is she'll feel pressure (in her own mind) to push max distance and may screw up the shot. Having the bad tee shot might leave her with a difficult second shot which will result in long missed putt and taking a bogie.

I think her biggest issue right now isn't her form or execution as much as it is her disc and shot selection. I have taken her to play where I didn't play and just caddied for her and she scores better that way but choosing the right disc and shot on her own just hasn't totally clicked for her just yet.

 

[ray1970]

The best idea is to let her do what she wants. Just ask her. If she wants to keep playing frustrating rounds so be it. If she wants to play easier courses so be it. The death of your mutual disc golf life begins when you start mansplaining ways for her to enjoy herself more.

I try and always let her pick the course. Generally, I just let her do her thing out on the course and try not to intervene with her game unless she asks for my opinion or advice.

She played sports growing up and was always competitive and good at them. I don't know if she just thought she would take right to disc golf and be good at it or something but I think she's realizing that for her to play at the level she wants to play at is going to take time and work.

Generally, we enjoy our time together and getting fresh air and exercise but lately if her game isn't up to her standards it is obviously frustrating her and she doesn't seem to be having fun. (She actually commented during her last rough round that if she didn't start playing better she might just quit playing. We've all had those rounds that didn't go our way and maybe weren't much fun but it never made me want to quit playing.)

 

[Dingus]

She actually commented during her last rough round that if she didn't start playing better she might just quit playing

Unless she is proactively asking you for help with her game, I would honestly let her quit. I would bet it is temporary, while if you try to push on it the quit may be permanent. Sometimes people honestly need a break.

Another thought, does she actually like disc golf or does she like a walk in the woods? I know a lot of couples where the wife tags along for rounds but doesn't bring discs. Why ruin the walk.

 

[BillFleming]

Find a group of women for her to join. The only thing she has to compare her game to is guys. Watch any tournament....MPO and FPO play differently....they have different abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. If there is a local tournament with a female age protected group for her...have her sign up for that. Then she can see how other female disc golfers her age play.

Also....ASK her what frustrates her about her game. Don't assume you know what it is. Maybe it's the fact she doesn't play as well as you and the other guys. Maybe, there's something specific about her game she's frustrated about.

Lastly, find a female disc golfer in your area who gives lessons and give your wife a gift of a couple lessons.

 

[ray1970]

Also....ASK her what frustrates her about her game. Don't assume you know what it is. Maybe it's the fact she doesn't play as well as you and the other guys. Maybe, there's something specific about her game she's frustrated about.

Lol. The same things that frustrate any disc golfer- bad drives, missed putts, and bogies.

I think her biggest frustration is that she is finding out that she is not a natural born disc golfer and it is going to take time and repetitions to get good at it.

The little pitch and putt course close to the house usually has her shooting under par so I think we'll focus a little more on playing that course to get her confidence back up. (I don't think I could shoot under par consistently on that course when I was three months into playing so I'm happy with how quickly she's coming along.)

 

[Ahildy13]

Not sure if the area you live in has many leagues or tournaments that women can participate in? If not maybe the two of you could spearhead a women's league night around a suitable course? It seems to have been successful around here. It was started in June of this year, is combined with Juniors, plays weekly and draws 6-12 women competitors and about the same in Juniors.

Just a thought.

My wife and I found an awesome "Couples Doubles" league run by FlighTowel. It's very casual and all about having fun and meeting other Disc golf couples. Since we joined, her game has improved immensely and she is no where near as hard on herself, even when we play alone.

I wish every disc golf community had this sort of thing simply because it has been such a positive experience.

 

[jupiterboy]

Lol. The same things that frustrate any disc golfer- bad drives, missed putts, and bogies.

I think her biggest frustration is that she is finding out that she is not a natural born disc golfer and it is going to take time and repetitions to get good at it.

The little pitch and putt course close to the house usually has her shooting under par so I think we'll focus a little more on playing that course to get her confidence back up. (I don't think I could shoot under par consistently on that course when I was three months into playing so I'm happy with how quickly she's coming along.)

Our neighborhood course with the outrageously easy pars suddenly has a "My Par" option on UDisc where I can play the course as if every hole was a par 3. IDK how or when a course gets this treatment, but I think it's a good development as I shouldn't be shooting a -6 on any course under any circumstances.

 

[ray1970]

Our neighborhood course with the outrageously easy pars suddenly has a "My Par" option on UDisc where I can play the course as if every hole was a par 3. IDK how or when a course gets this treatment, but I think it's a good development as I shouldn't be shooting a -6 on any course under any circumstances.

I don't think playing our easy course as all par 2's would be doing my wife any good. I'll stick with the par 3's for everything.

 

[jupiterboy]

I don't think playing our easy course as all par 2's would be doing my wife any good. I'll stick with the par 3's for everything.

Point being, if I was with my wife, she could play the par 5s and 4s, and I could play the threes.

 

[Dingus]

My wife and I found an awesome "Couples Doubles" league

Dubs may be the most fun disc golf outing in general. This is a good idea.

 

[Jah Plastifari]

My wife gets kisses for all birdies, and pars on longer holes. Seems to keep her happy.

She will walk with me on longer courses and play out a hole from my drive.

 

[ray1970]

My wife gets kisses for all birdies, and pars on longer holes. Seems to keep her happy.

Nice. Maybe I'll tell her you'll kiss her for all of those accomplishments and she'll be excited.

 

[reezyF]

I tell all my beginner friends that they should play as my par +1 unitl they get better
All par 3's for me are par 4's for them etc
helps them get in the mindset of playing against the course rather than trying to compete with me

 

[BillFleming]

I second the ideas about 'adjusting par'. I did this when I played ball golf and did it when I played casual disc golf rounds. I set "Bill Par" as the "normal" par + 2...then as I got better, "Bill Par" became par + 1. Now "Bill Par" and par are the same.