Playing a tourney with your toddler

[corin_brown]

I don't know what to tell you, but the TD doesn't have the leeway to make a judgement call like that. By rule, he has to allow the player to play, no matter who he has along with him. There was already a post early on quoting rules committee members discussing such a situation. Their conclusion was that the guy can play, but he's subject to any rules violations calls the group feels they have to make about the child.

So the TD's responsibility, IMO, is let the guy play if he wants but make it unquestionably clear that he is opening himself up to courtesy violations and more (DQ is certainly on the table if things escalate) if the kid becomes an issue. If the guy accepts that, so be it. If not, he can walk away. What the player can't really do is cry foul if other players see fit to call violations on the kid when appropriate.

As the TD, I'd also make it a point to speak with the players who will be grouped with the Dad and his kid and make it clear to them that if there are any issues, they shouldn't hesitate to call courtesy violations and assess penalties if necessary. They're being put in a bad spot, so they should know from the start that they have recourse. Not knowing or understanding that they have the power to warn and penalize players is probably what led to no one saying a word during the round(s) that prompted the OP to start this thread.

That all makes sense to me. I'd be curious to see what a real hard-ass TD like Jussi would do or say in this scenario. I bet he'd bounce that player and their baby like like they were trying to crash a state dinner at the White House.

 

[DatRedDude]

Another case where common sense isn't so common. A 2 year old doesn't belong on a course, especially at a tournament. Foremost there's the safety issue and secondary there's the common courtesy issue. Your toddler may indeed be the most important child in "your" world, but to the group you're playing with, it's a bummer to have to deal with.

It was irresponsible and inconsiderate for the father to bring his toddler.

Agree he shouldn't be at a tournament with a toddler. Disagree that no toddler should be on a course.

 

[ohtobediscing]

People are so stupid these days. Why do they create things from their loins if they suck at life themselves?!

As my friend Abby in Portland calls them----"rotten crotchfruit". :wall:

 

[SonicGuy]

I was very young when I started playing, ~5 yo. My dad brought me to a few leagues and signed me up to play. The regular guys were a bit leery but it worked out. I feel that if you want a child to accompany you go ahead and sign them up as a competitor. That probably means you play Rec. It also means that your child will actually need an interest in disc golf. It definitely means that a 2 year old should not be on the course (barring freakish early ability).

I am curious what else the guy brings his kid to. Movies? Fancy restaurants?

On the ability of the TD to prevent: The TD cannot stop the guy from playing, but he certainly can stop the child from being dragged along. If the course is rented and closed to the public a TD can prevent spectators from accessing any part of the course they want to. Once the TD has decided to prevent the toddler spectator from being on the course the player can then decide to play alone or prevent a CPS call.

 

[Major Tomahawk]

One time, my kid brought me to Discovery Zone with him to play. The other children were pissed!

 

[PWaggoner]

I personally wouldn't bring either of my sons to a pdga tournament. Mostly because I'm trying to focus.

My youngest, 18 mo, is good for one round. He has played golf with me since he was a little, little baby. He loves being out there. He's quiet and just watches the discs flying and people throwing. I cant recall a time he has bothered anyone. I can take him to dubs, casualish stuff.

My oldest, 4 yo, I dare not take him to any group activity lol. He is a good kid, but loud. Asks alot of questions. Would prolly start repulser blasting some stuff while flying around in his iron man suit... Yall know what I'm talking about.

 

[davetherocketguy]

Wow. What was this dude? A masochist? To bring a two year old along to a tourney you must be jones'in pretty hard to play. I have two kids and I was fortunate in that both were very well behaved as 2 year olds go and even then I wouldn't even have dreamed of bringing them to a tourney much less a disc golf course...yeeeeeesh. Get your child care figured out PRIOR to entering the tourney...duh.

 

[Jay Dub]

Not a smart father at this point if he thinks the best option is to bring a 2 year old to a tournament. I hope his wife was pissed at him for days for doing that.

I think the best suggestion is for the TD to explain to his card mates, in his presence, that they are to call courtesy violations when needed. I hope, if I was the TD, I could do it in a diplomatic way.

 

[Agricolae]

...My oldest, 4 yo, I dare not take him to any group activity lol. He is a good kid, but loud. Asks alot of questions. Would prolly start repulser blasting some stuff while flying around in his iron man suit...

I've seen people get extremely upset when others simply "niced" their disc. I can't imagine what would happen if it was Repulser Blasted by some kid in an Iron Man suit!

(sounds like a fun kid!)

 

[dorseymatt]

Sounds like a selfish person who needs to make time for family. I have seen others in the sport that seem to only get enjoyment out of playing and being away from their children and families which is sad but that is their choice they have to live with. What amazes me is the people that do this during holiday weekends (tournaments on Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends have always been a head scratcher to me) when they feel it necessary to play tournaments and tell stories of how they are glad they do not have to be around their families and children for a long weekend.

I'd like to add a different perspective to the above.

I am a father of two (3.5 and 1.5). At some times, I've been the primary caretaker, working part-time while my wife works full-time. But, at all times, I spend significant time with my family. I love my family. Lots and lots.

But, you are god-damned right that I love to be out on the disc golf course away from them sometimes. It feels AMAZING to have a break from caring for others, even if caring for your children is the most meaningful, rewarding thing you've ever done in your life.

You may or may not have children--I don't know. But I imagine other parents might know where I'm coming from on this.

If I've spent the last 4 weekends providing the majority of the care for my kids, and there's a tournament to play on a holiday weekend, and I've worked it out with my wife -- then, why not? It's not something I'd do all the time.

Now, for parents who really are spending time on the course at the cost of spending quality time with the family, I hear you--that seems a bit off. But don't just assume that a dad who is super psyched to be on the course away from the family is a bad guy or a bad dad.

 

[Matt B.]

Hey all, would like to know what people think.

We just had a tournament. One of the competitions had their 2 year old toddler with them during their rounds who was not under full control some of the time. Some of the golfers in his groups over the weekend were not happy with this situation, but didn't mention anything until after the tournament had finished. The issue was raised with the competitor, a few days later and he thought discrimination might be involved if he was asked to leave his kid at home in the future. What do people think?? Suggestions??

I think he should re-think everything in his life including parenting and disc golf.

Signed,
Parent, Regular Tournament player.

 

[DG_Before_Breakfast]

Should not bring a toddler to play in a sanctioned DG tournament. Casual round is fine, tournament is rude to his fellow competitors.

 

[threevok]

The only way I would ever bring my toddler to a tournament is to also bring a puppy to keep my toddler occupied and happy.

 

[BradC]

Sounds like the type of guy that would let their kid cry at a nice restaurant too.

Unless my wife wanted to see me play (yeah, ok) and wanted to bring our daughter, and she was under her control and could leave with her if she became bored or unruly, I wouldn't even consider such a thing.

Inconsiderate and ****ty parenting.

 

[Stardoggy]

Maybe dude forgot it was his one weekend a month when he signed up, and he had to bring him along. I mean, the kid could probably carry his vaping supplies and bluetooth speaker for him, as well. Parent of the year material, yo.

But seriously, you have to be a pretty selfish prick to bring your toddler along to a tournament you're playing in. Just play casual, for crying out loud. This is pretty close (IMO) to the guy that INSISTS on lighting up during a sanctioned tournament. This isn't 'Nam, Smokey...there are rules here.

 

[threevok]

People are so stupid these days. Why do they create things from their loins if they suck at life themselves?!

Stupid people don't know they're stupid.

 

[corin_brown]

I mean, the kid could probably carry his vaping supplies and bluetooth speaker for him, as well. This is pretty close (IMO) to the guy that INSISTS on lighting up during a sanctioned tournament. This isn't 'Nam, Smokey...there are rules here.

Lol. On the nose.

 

[DiscinFiend]

There's a local tournament player (advanced/open) that brings his youngest kid to leagues on occasion. He never brings any of his kids to tournaments though. He pushes his youngest kid in a stroller. I've played a few league rounds on the same card as him & his kid. There was never an issue while I was on the same card. The kid was either sleeping or completely quiet. Must be the most well behaved child I've ever seen. It's not like they're PDGA sanctioned leagues but I'd say something if the kid ever became a distraction. I totally agree that kids shouldn't tag along unless its just for a casual round.

 

[ru4por]

If this player does not have the common sense to know how inappropriate his actions are, it is likely he is not going to understand any objections. Entitlement sucks.

 

[dorseymatt]

There's a local tournament player (advanced/open) that brings his youngest kid to leagues on occasion. He never brings any of his kids to tournaments though. He pushes his youngest kid in a stroller. I've played a few league rounds on the same card as him & his kid. There was never an issue while I was on the same card. The kid was either sleeping or completely quiet. Must be the most well behaved child I've ever seen. It's not like they're PDGA sanctioned leagues but I'd say something if the kid ever became a distraction. I totally agree that kids shouldn't tag along unless its just for a casual round.

Seems totally reasonable to me. I've done the same thing with my kids -- pushed them in the stroller for countless casual rounds, and occasionally for a few holes of a weekly triples league (at least until my wife could come by for the pickup).