Tell a Disc Golf Joke

[Midnightbiker]

I am sure if we can use our brains, we can make old jokes work with disc golf. I will go first:



Two old guys were talking, and they were both wondering if there is Disc Golf in heaven. The both agreed which ever one would die first , the other would come back as a ghost or in a dream and tell the other one.

A month later, one of the old men died, and one night in a dream, he visited him in a dream. The living one asked his friend who passed away "Well, is there Disc Golf in heaven?". He said "well, I have good news and bad news" The good news is, there is disc golf in heaven. The bad news is, we are having a tournament next Tuesday, and you are playing in it."

 

[brettmartin]

It's not really a joke but sometime I would love to go up to a girl and ask her, "Would you like to play with my dragon?" and look downwards to my lower region.

I will be holding an Innova Disc Dragon at that point.

 

[Midnightbiker]

It's not really a joke but sometime I would love to go up to a girl and ask her, "Would you like to play with my dragon?" and look downwards to my lower region.

I will be holding an Innova Disc Dragon at that point.

I think you might get slapped if you try that.

 

[brettmartin]

I think you might get slapped if you try that.

Lol, that's exactly why I haven't tried it!

 

[Midnightbiker]

Speaking of something being miss heard, I was at my brother in laws house the other day, and I had been talking to my sister in law about disc golf. I had my discs in the car since I had just come from playing , and I decided to show them to her.

I walked by, and I told her, come out side, I want to show you my discs. Now for starters, this women already has a dirty mind, and her eyes got big, and she whispered to her sister, and they looked at each other and said " he is going to show you his what?! They thought I said something else, that sounds like discs.

 

[NovaDiscHead]

Jesus and Moses were playing DG with an old man. When Jesus teed off, his disc skipped across the water then, landed next to the basket. Moses teed off, and when he saw his disc headed to the water he split the pond, and the disc landed next to the basket.

The old guy throws his disc straight up into the air, where it's caught in the beak of a condor, who flies to her nest, which is near the basket. When she gets there, she drops the disc, where it's knocked out of the nest to the ground, where a bear picks it up in his snout and uses it to break open a bees nest, then the disc rolls around some until a squirrel picks it up and runs up the basket pole, and deposits into the basket for an Ace.

Then Moses turns to Jesus and says "I hate playing with your dad!"

 

[NovaDiscHead]

On his annual conference, Bob would play the regional VP in a game of best disc doubles for $1000. Unfortunately, his RVP and his partner were both really good players, so he would lose year after year.

Getting frustrated with this, Bob decided to get himself a ringer, so one day he went to a construction site, and found the biggest redneck he could find.

He hired the guy, then took him to a field, and showed him how to throw a disc, untill the guy could really wing one.

So the Conference comes again, and Bob shows up with his new partner. So they all step up onto the tee for Hole 1, a 500 foot dogleft right. And The RVP steps up, and cranks out a nice drive with his Wraith, about 300 feet.

His partner yanks a throw with his Boss out to 340 feet, but to the right of the fairway.

Bob steps up, and throws his usual Beast for 200 feet.

Then his partner steps up, and cranks up his groove and launches a huge shot that parks next to the basket.

The RVP looks over at Bob and says "I can't compete with that. Here's your grand." and they all go to the bar to drink, since the conditions where pretty miserable.

After a few drinks, the RVP leans over and asks Bob "So, this new partner of yours.... how does he putt?"

Bob chuckled, and smiled when he answered, "same as he drives."

 

[Tyler]

It's not really a joke but sometime I would love to go up to a girl and ask her, "Would you like to play with my dragon?" and look downwards to my lower region.

I will be holding an Innova Disc Dragon at that point.

You could also use a skeeter.

 

[NovaDiscHead]

Or a Roc

 

[Disc Golf Cowboy]

Think I'd have to use the Beast

 

[billnchristy]

10m Brick might cause them to run away!

 

[HolySchnell]

As long as it isn't r-pro!

Too far? ok.

 

[bazillion]

or a Whippet ....

 

[Disc Dog]

Like most guys you have one throw minds! LOL

 

[solomon.trenton]

I am sure if we can use our brains, we can make old jokes work with disc golf. I will go first:



Two old guys were talking, and they were both wondering if there is Disc Golf in heaven. The both agreed which ever one would die first , the other would come back as a ghost or in a dream and tell the other one.

A month later, one of the old men died, and one night in a dream, he visited him in a dream. The living one asked his friend who passed away "Well, is there Disc Golf in heaven?". He said "well, I have good news and bad news" The good news is, there is disc golf in heaven. The bad news is, we are having a tournament next Tuesday, and you are playing in it."

i love it is a classic with an awesome new twist.

 

[mmyersdisc]

Jesus and Moses were playing DG with an old man. When Jesus teed off, his disc skipped across the water then, landed next to the basket. Moses teed off, and when he saw his disc headed to the water he split the pond, and the disc landed next to the basket.

The old guy throws his disc straight up into the air, where it's caught in the beak of a condor, who flies to her nest, which is near the basket. When she gets there, she drops the disc, where it's knocked out of the nest to the ground, where a bear picks it up in his snout and uses it to break open a bees nest, then the disc rolls around some until a squirrel picks it up and runs up the basket pole, and deposits into the basket for an Ace.

Then Moses turns to Jesus and says "I hate playing with your dad!"

that was a funny one..lol wasn't expecting that

 

[optidiscic]

It's not really a joke but sometime I would love to go up to a girl and ask her, "Would you like to play with my dragon?" and look downwards to my lower region.

I will be holding an Innova Disc Dragon at that point.

HaHaHa you could ask her to grip your BIRDIE....maybe she's a POLECAT and would get into the GROOVE and FLASH for you. Be careful though. You don't wanna get caught as a CHEETAH. I could go on all day....2 things on my mind women and disc golf!

 

[hilega]

I don't have a particular joke, but I envision an Arrested Development episode about disc golf ...

Tobias going with the Hot Cops to an disc-o club that he thought was like a country club for disc golf (not that kind of club).

Lindsay hanging out at the local course, dropping discs and bending over in a mini skirt and her sl*t t-shirt trying to pick up guys (but fails as usual).

George Michael trying to get Maeby to play a'round (of disc golf), but she ends up playing with Steve Holt.

Buster walking around with a disc stuck to his hook, sulking and wishing he was still in ARMY.

GOB making discs and baskets disappear during a tournament (p*ssing off all the locals).

George and Oscar playing a grudge match round of disc golf to see who gets Lucile.

Michael trying to pitch a disc golf community development the whole episode ...

(if you haven't watched this series, rent it!)

 

[amcarlson83]

HaHaHa you could ask her to grip your BIRDIE....maybe she's a POLECAT and would get into the GROOVE and FLASH for you. Be careful though. You don't wanna get caught as a CHEETAH. I could go on all day....2 things on my mind women and disc golf!

Me too...

But, I think it would have to depend on her preferences in between the sheets. Some women would want a RHYNO, some would want a GROOVE (while listening to some jazz), a sadist would respond to a CRUSH (ouch), and a submissive or masochist would be looking for a BOSS, DESTROYER or VIKING.

Just don't say XCALIBER. You will look conceited.

 

[DangeRuss]

I am now dumber.