DISS session

[Mr. Sir]

I just thought it would be funny to hear some of the funnier diss's you've said or heard or been dissed with on the course. Clean of course.

And before you start ranting about not diss'n others while playing due to whatever reason, let me say this; I mean it all in good fun. I mainly play rounds with really good friends and we like to joke around. I've played with random people at the course and in a few tourneys and i know proper etiquette. I obviously don't want to ruin someone else's time so i pertty much keep the horseplay to a minimum unless with my friends.

That being said here's something i thought was funny. One of my buddys is in his 50's. We (about 4-5 of us) all started DG about 6-8 months ago. We've all progressed a ton. So the last time we went out this buddy of mine was on his game. I've never heard the snap off of his drive before. I heard it pop off his fingers so i said "Man, i heard that snap all the way down the fairway" my other buddy, without hesitations says " He's just old, that was probably some of his bones cracking" I found this extremly funny.

Another time i tell my 10 year old nephew, "if you start playing disc golf now by the time your Cecil's age you'll be really... Old." Cecil thought i was gonna say Good. (Cecil is the previous mention age challenged guy)

Anyway i have a ton more, but i want to hear some good "BURNS" from your times out and about with your buddies. Funny nick names, funny situations that just called for someone to get harped on. Like i said before, ALL IN GOOD FUN, not to be a jerk.

 

[Jukeshoe]

Good thread idea, I just can't think of anything clean!

I do like the "pop" diss. That's pretty good.

 

[Cgkdisc]

"Nice Shot" can be a diss depending on what a player's disc hits or where it lands...

 

[backswing_aplenty]

This I've used in bowling for years:

"Man that shot looked good until you let go of it..."

Very much applies to DG.

 

[prerube]

We keep it PG and Cheesy.
"way to go George of the jungle" when you get treejected

 

[edward felcohands]

"if you were two inches taller that putt wouldve been in"- me to my buddy after him doinking off the side of the basket

 

[jhgonzo]

I introduced my wife's cousin to the game when he was about 14, and while I was glad that he was immediately addicted, he's one of those know-it-all teens (aren't they all?) that started trying to give advice less than a year into playing.

I was shooting a round with him and a few of my buddies and dicked an upshot from about 30' out. He suggested I should've used a different disc--and it was a ridiculous suggestion like a driver or something--and I shot back, "Kid, I've been playing since you were pissing and sh*tting yourself." He didn't offer any more unsolicited advice after that.

 

[therealbigtrav]

A random ambulance drove by and my "friend" said, " they came for your game".

 

[JMONEY]

A buddy of mine will say this as we walk up to a tee pad making sure that anyone close by hears,"do you want me to drive for you" .

 

[Jukeshoe]

A random ambulance drove by and my "friend" said, " they came for your game".

Oh man, that is harsh! I love it!

 

[craftsman]

When someone launches a drive and overshoots I say,"must be tough being a pro".
Ams find it funny- pros not so much

 

[craftsman]

If someone really nails a tree I pretend try to stroke em for destruction of the course

 

[CwAlbino]

When with friends if someone loses a disc or it's a hidden hole we look for it and always say "Got it, it's right there".

Well, that's turned into whenever someone has a horrible drive that smacks a tree or something, and falls just a few feet away, we say

"Got it, it's right there".
"Ya thanks *******"

 

[craftsman]

We use that too. My reply is that I needed a different angle or wind placement

 

[Donovan]

First off, I am not that clean, I just played 4 rounds today. LOL so prepare your sensitive selves.


1. A friend said, "Eat me!" after I hit 50 footer to beat him on the last hole.
I replied, "I told you before, I don't eat from the children's menu."

2. Nice toss, Salad.

3. After a shot that started out good, but didn't even end up being close enough to be called parked, one friend said, "I almost aced that one!"
I replied, "Yeah and you almost wiped your a$$ enough to not notice how much you stink."

4. After missing a putt 5 inches low, he says, "Damn, I only missed that by 1/2 an inch."
I replied, "Dude, that was at least 5 inches. You may have your wife fooled, but the rest of us now know what your 10 incher translates to."

5. After about the 3rd straight drive gone bad, he just keeps saying, "Man, I KNEW I should have thrown that other driver."
I replied, "Wow, as many times as you are so sure about something and you do the opposite...I bet the casinos love seeing you coming."

 

[Cyrus333]

The wife saved hole 18 at Bearcreek in Grapevine with an Awesome par shot. It was luck from about 35' away through every tree imaginable. The celebration was "enhanced" starting with: SONNOFA YEAH SUCK IT B****, and ended with a tirade of profanities that had every guy in about a hundred yard radius' jaw on the ground with shock and awe. Nothing like it, and I loved every second of it.

 

[zenbot]

"You throw like a big stupid idiot, you idiot."

How about that?

 

[zenbot]

Or what about this one?

"You just threw that like a big stupid weirdo...and you probably are lousy in bed, jerk."

 

[zenbot]

When they hit a lot of trees:

"I guess I was wrong. You aren't the big smelly hippie I thought you were. You hate nature more than I do."

 

[zenbot]

When they aren't putting well:

"If you made love like you putt your wife would leave you. Oh, that's right. She did. My bad. Am I away?"